The Nul Points Eurovision Blog

Rock Me Daddy: Oldies But Goodies from Ex-Yu

2012-01-21T17:51:00.006Z

As the 2012 selection season ups a gear, many Balkan states have been markedly quick off the blocks to select their artists for Baku. At the time of writing five of the six ex-Yugoslavian republics have chosen their artist internally, the Slovenes being odd ones out with a televised multi-artist national final. Four of them have gone for seasoned performers, for whom the vast audience in Baku and beyond will hold few fears.

Serbia set the trend by unveiling the return of one Zeljko Joksimovic, who co-hosted the 2008 contest in Belgrade. He also composed the home entry that year but did not appear on stage. Four years earlier, in the brief period when Serbia & Montenegro entered as a nation, he was runner-up in the contest with a ditty so popular with fans that it recently topped ESC Radio's Top 250 all time Eurosongs!. He thus follows Israel's Yardena Arazi and Greece's Sakis Rouvas in returning to the contest as an artist after being a compere. Here's the fan favourite.

After four consecutive DNQs, FYR Macedonia have resorted for services of their very first entrant. Kaliopi (billed back then as Kaliopi Gril) were chosen as the republics entrant for the 1996 Oslo contest. Uniquely that year's way of whittling down the entries for the contest final involved national juries voting on studio versions of the songs on tape, and Macedonia were one of the seven to miss out.

Croatia are giving a go to Nina Badric, who has tried four times to represent her land in the multi-artist "Dora" festival, the last time in 2003 when she was runner-up with this.

Our fourth evergreen is the curveball of the quartet. Montenegro has yet to make a contest final as an independent nation, and after appearing to give up the ghost they return to Baku after missing the last two events. Rambo Amadeus is a renaissance man: musician, composer, social commentator and former award-winning yachtsman. Here a sample of his work.

So there we have it, four performers with a combined age of a hundred and seventy-two.. While our favourite pan-continental annual event remains a "song" contest, there is ample evidence from both televoters and juries that a solid performance on the big night can make all the difference. Chances are at least one of our vets will be in contention come May.

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Europe's Living A Celebration. Happy New Year from Nul Points!

2011-12-31T19:05:00.003Z

Howdee doodee and very best wishes from Nul Points Net.

2011.. what a year... Italy came back, Germany staged the contest in a soccer stadium without the unfortunate staging implications of Parken 2001, Azerbaijan sneaked a victory in the closest result in the current format, the jury/televote split results were announced, prompting a surge of outrage from the fanboys as the juries dared to vote for the odd ballad, the Azeri winner sank without trace and became the most forgettable Eurovision winner since .... well, we forget....

To end the year and fanfare 2012 we give you a Eurovision celebration. Happy New Year from Nul Points and here's to a tuneful 2012 ;o))

We are utterly thrilled to include here the very first entry to score "Nul Points" in a semi!.

And finally one from 2011

What's Another Year? Greetings from Nul Points Net

Coming Back For More: The Returning Winners

2011-11-16T18:35:00.025Z

At roughly the mid point between contests, time to revive the blog and take a look back this time at how former winners have fared when returning to the contest. A full table comparing results is on the main site here. 2011 marked the first contest with two returning winners (Lena Meyer-Landrut defending her crown from 2010 and Dana International returning after thirteen years) since 1958. As that was only the third contest, all previous Eurovision winners were present (ie Lys Assia and Corry Brokken), something that we can be sure will never be repeated!. Corry was actually following Lys example of defending her title, as the 1956 winner also sang in 1957. Both ladies found that returning the very next year after victory was not a great idea as they each finished in the bottom three. While that was it for Corry on the contest stage (at least as a singer, she was presenter of the 1976 contest), Lys came back for a third go and almost pulled off a second win in three attempts. The rather memorable "Giorgio" may well have won under later scoring systems.

Into the sixties and one Jean-Claude Pascal who claimed the first of five titles for Luxembourg. He went on to set another record as the winner returning longest after his triumph, in this case a whole twenty years!. Despite finishing mid-table, his return result in terms of finish position vs number of entrants was actually significantly better than our two girls from the fifties. But all of them were about to be eclipsed by some singers who pulled off a great result second time around. Isabelle Aubret, 1962 winner, came third in 1968 with an arguably better song, Gigliola Cinquetti (who still holds the record for the most emphatic victory ever - a record that may stand forever under current scoring methods) was only bested by Abba a decade after her 1964 win, and Anne-Marie David, 1973 winner, claimed third place six years later, the only returnee to represent a diferent nation (Luxembourg in 1973, France in 1979).

As any casual Eurofan can probably guess, we are reaching the zenith of this trend. Just before that, let's give credit to Izhar Cohen, returning in 1985 sans Alpha-Beta and achieving a creditable fifth place. But roll the drums and sound the fanfare for Mister Johnny Logan! The Irish singer won more emphatically than first time round, a statistical curiosity being that in both his triumphal years the German entry was runner-up. Now, rather than this encouraging other winner back, it had quite the opposite effect, with only one further 1980s winning act returning, and not in the form it won. Bobbysocks (pictured above) gave Norway it's long-awaited first triumph in 1985, comprised of Hanne Krogh and Elisabeth Andreassen, both of whom had actually performed at Eurovision BEFORE their victory. Krogh returned to little effect in 1991 as part of a manufactured group but Andreassen, capturing the early 90s ballad love, was much more successful, scoring a sixth place in duet (literally)in 1994 and runners-up spot two years later.

In the quarter century that has elapsed since Bobbysocks triumph Eurovision has undergone huge changes, prompted of course by the vast expansion of eligible entrants, tackled by the European Broadcasting Union firstly with a promotion/relegation system and then with the advent of the semi-final system in 2004. This constant state of flux seemed to deter contest winners from having another go, but since the semi-final inauguration we have seen four 1990s winners, all female soloists, returning with, shall we be kind, mixed outcomes. You can't go far wrong in Eurofan territory with a Swedish entrant, so the web was agog when 1991 winner Carola returned in 2006. To be fair she acquitted herself very well with a top five result (although the fan pandemonium in the build-up almost rendered that a failure!). Sweden's other 90s winner Charlotte Nilssen (now Ms Perelli) gave it a go two years later, but despite another huge fan-fare, trailed home in a miserable 18th place. Two years later the 1993 winner Niamh Kavanagh fared even worse, ending up in the bottom three. So to 2011. Defending champ Lena fared OK finishing mid-table, but had the enormous help of course of loads of media coverage in the contest build-up and was on-stage as part of the opening presentation. That leaves us to end of course with the sad story of Ms International, who trumped even the very earliest and very latest returning winners by failing to even make the contest final. Ding-Dong indeed.

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ESC 2011 - Two Months On

2011-07-14T18:49:00.008+01:00

Two months ago today the fifty-sixth edition of the Eurovision Song Contest was staged, a contest that started in Nineteen Fifty-Six. Spooky or what?. Nul Points has been somewhat in hibernation since post contest week, but now a long overdue review of the fallout from Dusseldorf:

The winning song from Azerbaijan did not go on to emulate the chart successes of the last two winners, in fact apart from a few brief appearances on I-Tunes it pretty much sank without trace. A big let down after the commercial success of Alexander Rybak and Lena. Whilst it may be argued that the latter two, winners in 2009 and 2010, were from Western European countries with hefty record industries, who can forget the shedloads on money lavished on last years Azeri entry, so maybe the fizzling out of "Running Scared" just tells us it's a very average song.

We were blessed with the closest voting for several years and sadly the EBU and many fans still seem under the delusion that it was all down to the decision of the EBU to attempt to "engineer" the voting order based on the results of the jury votes, cast on the dress rehearsal. In actuality, this was effected in such a ham fisted and unsubtle way that all it did was tell us which country won the jury vote. Newsflash: 43 sets of votes will still end up with the same result in whatever order they are announced. The close result in 2011 was down to there being no runaway winner and nothing else.

That jury winner was of course Italy, and more fanboy uproar was to come when the EBU announced the "split" 50/50 votes. Italy won the jury vote by a landslide, in the televote Azerbaijan edged Sweden by not much. Cue a torrent of forum comments about "moral winners". Probably the funniest part of post-2011 reaction. Rabid comment posted that if the contest winner hadn't won the televote, or (heaven forbid) won neither televote or jury, it wasn't a "moral" winner. What part of THE RULES don't these people get LOL ??

As for the muted commercial reponse to Dusseldorf, we have to bow our twin hats to Jedward. For all the kerfuffle, they undoubtably had the commercial hit (such as it was) of Eurovision 2011 with "Lipstick" topping download charts in Germany, Austria and Sweden.

So after such a short post season, thoughts turn to 2012. The Baku venue, the Armenia participation issue and assorted national niggles. Normal service resumed after the heights of the last two years.

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2011: A Bookies Bonanza

2011-05-19T19:16:00.004+01:00

As the dust settles after the 2011 contest and attention turns to cogitating over the scores, pondering who the juries voted for and who the public voted for (blythely ignoring the fact that every single countries votes were a combo of both), and scanning the download charts, time to wind the clock back, do a system restore, and see where we stood a couple of weeks ago.

And what a spectacular success for the bookmakers. Random bookies favourites have fallen to grief before many times, most memorably the dancey diva duo of Linda Wagenmakers/Nicki French in 2000, Corinna May in 2002 and the more unlikely combo of Anna Vissi and Kate Ryan in 2006.

2011 however saw virtually all the lowest price songs come to grief, and we can lay the blame squarely at the (no doubt adequately manicured) feet of the "fans", and not just the foaming forums but also the repetitive polls of OGAE, the pan-European fan-club whose members flood the press conferences masquerading as "journalists". Most years their choices bear a respectable enough result but 2011 was a disaster as their polling kept throwing up the same suspects: France, Estonia, UK, Hungary and Sweden.

What's more remarkable in retrospect is that the bookies took this as an effective guide to the result. Final outcome: France 15th, Estonia 24th, UK 11th, Hungary 22nd and Sweden 3rd. This last crumb of comfort has predictibly seen the fans on the offensive (claiming that Sweden was "robbed" by the juries) like a lemming clinging on to that last shaky bit of cliff after he has jumped off.

So the moral of this story is, do your own research, make your own mind up, and pop a fiver on to go with your own instinct.

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Reflections The Morning After

2011-05-15T14:50:00.005+01:00

So the 2011 Eurovision has come and gone. A few random reflections as we clear up:

Great to see a relatively close scoring (quite a feat in this day and age). Not sure about the "voting order algorithm", guess it wasn't really needed this year.

Fair do to the Azeris, they wanted it so much and it was a very slick package despite Nikki looking like Ell's mum.

Fantastic result for Italy. Please stay!

Shame that the Swedish gimmick (and all those extra rehearsals) paid off.

Ukraine and Greece ridiculous results shows that 50/50 has only partly tackled the issues that still cloud the contest.

We knew that France would fail the moment he opened his mouth. Maybe the pressure got to him as he sounded a bag of nerves and off-key. Great result for the bookies.

Jedward fair play, probably about the right result.

Lena too. We hold our hands up here, thinking that opening act appearance would be more than advantageous. Happy to be proved wrong, but sure we shall hear from her again (outside the contest hopefully).

Ah, Blue .... was never going to be strong enough as a song but they did us proud and Lee Ryan, dissed all over by the bloggers, sang well. Picked up loads of ones, twos and threes in the voting. A great result in the context of recent UK history.

Austria... we got that sooo wrong. Was it the fringe?. After the joy of seeing middle Europe all qualify they all (bar Slovenia) went a bit pear-shape last night.

Spain... you must be wondering what you have to do... stick with it and maybe a sharper selection process. What's Salome doing these days?.

Russia.. saw this as a contender, quite amazed to see it bring their worst result since Philipp Kirkirov.

Finally the old chestnut of draw order. Bosnia and Denmark made the top six from positions 2 and 3. Now whether that means that draw order means nothing, or that they would have been winners from a late draw... mmmmm.....

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2011: Our Final Call

2011-05-14T10:23:00.006+01:00

Hopefully Google Blogger is now stabilized so these won't vanish:

01 Azerbaijan - cheesy and bland but all those dollars may finally pay off
02 Germany - with all this advantage how can it finish much lower?
03 Austria - romping back with a show stopper ballad
04 France - not a winner but a solid result
05 Russia - they want it again but clearly not as much as when Dima won
06 Bosnia - draw has ruined its chances of winning
07 Finland - despite the draw, this will be remembered
08 Iceland - forget the emotion, this is an Olsens singalong for the over 40s
09 Romania - our Marmite song that we think is safe top ten
10 Ukraine - solid predictable result but no sandie shaw
11 Greece - old fashioned diaspora will see this safe, but surely no higher?
12 Ireland - lets get loud, but hampered by the songs coming right after
13 Georgia - best draw in the world won't save a mishmash but usual neighbour votes
14 Denmark - another killed by the draw but loads of votes from Our Friends
15 Moldova - will get votes from people who like rock and the neighbours
16 Spain - simple singalong that deserves better
17 Italy - enough votes from the oldies to keep them interested
18 Sweden - manages to be annoying, desperate and tedious in three minutes flat
19 Serbia - pleasant but who is going to pick up the phone apart from ex-pats?
20 United Kingdom - live performance is key (or off it), we worry
21 Hungary - fan favourite swallowed up by songs with wider appeal
22 Slovenia - fantastic singer but not memorable enough a tune
23 Estonia - one-time bookies favorite sounds clunky and discordant in Germany
24 Lithuania - lucked into the final by draw, now lucked out of it by same. That's life
25 Switzerland - Grand to see this in the final, don't see where the votes will come from

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2011 Semi Two Predictions

2011-05-11T19:55:00.000+01:00

Woah! after the shocks and shennanigans of Semi One, we tentatively post our predictions for Semi Two. What was utterly breathaking from last nights results was that the semi seeding has drawn the sting out of ex-pat (diaspora for posh people) voting. What was rather less re-assuring were the sound problems during the first five songs (none of which qualified).

Anyway, time to bite the bullet for semi two: in order of appearance, here are our ten picks for the final:

Bosnia
Austria
Ukraine
Moldova
Sweden
Israel
Romania
Estonia
Denmark
Ireland

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Bonkers Semi One Results

2011-05-10T22:32:00.002+01:00

Like the rest of Euroland we are still reeling at the results of the first semi final. No Armenia. No Norway. Most amazingly, No Turkey. In the words of the Icelandic 2009 runner-up, "Is It True?" ..... such is the shock, surprise and dismay.

Wasn't it a given that Armenia and its reliable army of expats and neighbours was an automatic qualifier? Turkey even more so?. And Norway, well.... some quite distasteful accusations of racism have already surfaced online, which ignore the fact that the song was a repetitive pile of twaddle.

In the predictions game we got 7/10. What a bonkers outcome. We can't wait for Thursday!

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2011 Semi One Predictions

2011-05-09T20:15:00.005+01:00

Time for Nul Points Net to put it's bonce on the Euro-block and make our call for the first semi. First of all a pointless yet self-aggrandising pimp-up (answers on a postcard for which Eurovision "expert" you're now thinking of). In the three previous years of the double semis we have an 81.666 (recurring) strike rate, meaning 8+7 in the 2008 semis, 8+9 in 2009 and 9+8 in 2010. In the pursuit of an elusive perfect ten, let's go for Tuesday's first semi-final.

Nineteen countries on stage. Despite the introduction of seeded semi-finals and 50/50 voting, the power of ex-patriots (we hate the word diaspora as it sounds like something Lys Assia would pop on her frock) and neighbours still has a huge influence, so we can immediately paste into qualification some of the usual suspects. The vagaries of the semi-final draw this year has unfortunately shoe-horned the vast majority of these into the first semi, which is tough for the remaining countries in this heat, and will surely mean a rethink of the "seeding" criteria next year.

So on the basis of the above we are plonking (strictly alphabetically) Armenia, Azerbaijan, Greece, Russia and Turkey into the final, which leaves five more places.

Now time to get ruthless, we then go to those which we think we can discount, as they have neither a memorable song nor enough friendly voting. So it's Auf Wiedersehn to Poland, Albania, Switzerland, Malta, San Marino and Lithuania. This is sad because both Switzerland and San Marino have sent great radio songs and classy performers.. they just aren't right for Eurovision.

This leaves us with eight songs chasing five spots and here comes judgement time. First of all, on top of the friendly voting stuff, all the stats show that draw order is maybe even more important in a semi than the final. So we factor that in, but don't think it will be too important in the final shake-up. So at last here is the Nul Points Net prediction for Semi One (and this IS a prediction, not a wish list..... in at least two cases I so hope we are wrong!)

In draw order:

Armenia
Turkey
Serbia
Russia
Georgia
Finland
Iceland
Portugal
Azerbaijan
Greece

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Order Amongst Chaos? Rehearsal Musings

2011-05-06T20:02:00.004+01:00

Almost halfway through the fortnight event and time for a few thoughts just before Blue and the other Big Five entrants do their first turn in rehearsal. First of all a big thank you to the on site bloggers. Nul Points is too busy holding down a 9-5 to be in Dusseldorf this year.

The most interesting story to emerge is that around the voting order. One consequence of having forty-plus countries voting has been runaway victories that have made the later part of the voting process largely irrelevant as the winner is so far ahead that it can't be caught. The European Broadcasting Union, having already shortened the voting process by having the announcers only voice the 8, 10 and 12 votes, have seemingly come up with another bright idea. The order of voting is now being decided after the jury votes to make the excitement last longer. Nul Points is happy to hear any improvement, but you can't fight the arithmetic. If Malta have won by a 200 vote margin (unlikely we know, but stick with the thought), after 43 countries have voted it is still going to have won by 200 points, whatever order they are announced.

So we are going to get a scenario where all the winning countries twelves are stored up until the end of the voting order, to keep things exciting, or liberally sprinkled through the order to keep them tantalizingly ahead for as long as possible?. Either way sounds like a field day for leaks like the 2005 Semi result and opportunities for making a killing on live betting.

On a happier note, we have been enjoying the rehearsal reports and are agog at the big five tomorrow even more than Judge Dread was in the 70s. Some early impressions: in Semi 1, Russia exceeded our expectations wildly, Georgia did the same in the opposite direction, still unconvinced about Hungary. Azerbaijan too really (BTW isn't it funny that so many of the online bloggers spend ages telling you what they had for breakfast but the only insight they can offer on songs is that "it will qualify because it's Greece". No shit Sherlock. In Semi 2 the only real suprise has been Estonia underwhelming, Israel's "meh" rehearsal less surpising. Our fave Romania continues to have a Marmite effect.

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Nul Points Blog Tribute To Will & Kate

2011-04-28T19:28:00.013+01:00

In honour of Prince William and Miss Kate Middleton, a quick gander through the Eurovision archives for something vaguely appropriate, and what a struggle it has been. Apart from one very conspicuous year in the early Seventies (more of that anon), Eurovision history is surprisingly bereft of lovey-dovey one man and one woman tunes. (Before going any further, Nul Points isn't being discriminatory here as it is penned by a gay man, but we thought we'd focus on a tradional heterosexual template for this exercise!).

Only one male/female duo have won the contest, and that was brother and sister Grethe & Jorgen Ingmann for Denmark in 1963. Since then we have had male duos winning three times (in 1994, 2000 and 2001 for Ireland, Denmark and Estonia respectively) and a female duo once in 1985 for Norway. Even when boy/girl duos have occasionally surfaced, it has tended to be with songs based on either angst or jocularity (or sometimes both).

Denmarks two wins so far have come from decidedly unromantic duets so it's appropriate that they produced our first clip in our paean to heterosexual romance, especially as this was in only very second contest in 1957 and the very first non-solo entry. If it seems like heavy going, keep the faith for the spectacular ending that was very racey for it's time. Not too racey though to capture enough jury votes to claim third place.

As mentioned above, one contest stands out for thinking this tactic was a great idea. In the 1972 contest in Edinburgh, no less than one third of the eighteen entrants plumped for a boy/girl duo. Quite why has never been apparent. The only reason we can come up with is that a year earlier the European Broadcasting Union had opened up the contest to groups for the first time, so maybe Norway, Malta, Finland, Monaco, Belgium and the Netherlands thought a happy compromise between soloists and groups were the way forward. Five of the six fell flat on their combined arses, the exception being this Dutch delight:

Fast forward to the mid 70s and a couple we really can't ignore in this post. In 1976 American actress Romina Power, the daughter of Hollywood legend Tyrone Power, was working in Italy as a singer and actress. In 1970 she married Italian singer Albano Carrisi (known professionally as "Al Bano", and they would represent Italy both in 1976 and 1985, bringing some much needed happy couple vibe to the contest. Both entries finished seventh but here is the lovely 1976 song:

In 1989 the Cypriots were smarting. After a stupendously bright Eurovision debut their 1988 entry had suffered the unique indignity of being disqualified late on, after the Eurovision CD had been pressed, as it was a national final reject from a few years before. They sent to Lausanne a sweet couple called Fani Polyméri & Yiánnis Savvidákis, with arguably the most "wedding" Eurosong of them all, that finished exactly half way down the scoreboard and is cute as hell.

The Nineties were as barren as a very barren thing for such romance and as Eurovision entered the new millennium the theme became even less popular, but we leave you with a classic from 2004. The Maltese, probably along with the Danes the most prolific purveyors of fine boy/girl cheese, regaled us with this delight from Julie & Ludwig, which finished (as Cyprus above), exactly halfway down the scoreboard in 2004.

Whatever you're up to on Royal Wedding Day we hope you enjoy yourselves!

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Nightmare Ratings For The Great Blue Project

2011-04-18T19:34:00.005+01:00

We all sighed when the BBC released the news a couple of months ago that for the first time ever (that's since 1957 yo!), their response to an uneven, yet sadly too consistent string of dire results was to deny the viewers (ergo license payers, of course but aren't Daily Telegraph types so we won't dwell on that) any input in choosing either UK song or singer.

For many years in the UK's rather grand Euro history we have been presented with an act, be it Matt Monro, Clodagh Rodgers or Michael Ball, and been given a selection of ditties to choose from. The last two years the BBC subverted this, getting us to choose a singer for a pre-ordained song. This was a huge success in 2009 with Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Diane Warren, a BBC1 prime time selection show and loads of moolah spent promoting Jade and the song across Europe before the contest, and UK finished a grand fifth in Moscow.

Last year the same broad approach was taken, but we went from John Lewis to Primark, with a Matt Stock/Pete Waterman run-of-the-mill ditty and an "as-brief-as-we-can-get-away-with" low rent selection show. Quite why anyone was surprised when the UK were again propping up the scoreboard is anyone's guess, despite the brave efforts of the blameless Josh Dubovie.

2011 and the BBC went for a totally internal selection, beloved by several countries but not surely our Auntie. We thought, "yeah it had better be good". The song was debuted on Graham Norton's show last month and all we have the mp3 now, and it's fareing OK-ish in the fan polls. The BBC promised us something special in the absence of a national final, and we were served up with that on Saturday.

We got sixty minutes, padded to within an inch of it's life, of the usual clips, plus Blue showing us how under-rehearsed they were, Eurovision "experts" like Lulu and the inevitable John Barrowman (whose comments in previous BBC finals linger like a fart in a lift). The ratings were released today and the show got a 10 percent audience share. On Saturday prime time. A lower share even than those Sunday afternoon finals ten years ago.

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Portugal Palaver Hits An Historical Note

2011-04-01T22:01:00.007+01:00

Every year in the fallow (yet strangely pregnantly expectant) Eurovision season between the final selections and the contest itself (a period which has expanded exponentially from a few weeks to several months) one or two entries raise the interest of the reluctant media, and the first of the 2011 entrants to do so is Portugal, with a spooky throwback to Eurovision past.

This years Portuguese entry, "A Luta é Alegria" (The Struggle is Joy) was selected in a public final last month, and is performed by male duo Homens Da Luta. When they won the final they were billed as a topical comedy act. In the rapidly changing times that early 2011 has dealt us, our Homens have suddenly acquired a much bigger role, all this from the country still waiting a record-breaking forty-seven years for it's first Eurovision triumph (and never ever coming close). A couple of weeks ago demonstrations started in Lisbon over the domestic financial crisis highlighted by a day of protests called "Geracao a Rasca". Our Homens not only turned up, but their anthem captured the mood of the people.

For seasoned Euro veterans this rings all sorts of bells. In 1974 Portugal was still in the grip of fascism despite the death of Antonio Salazar four years earlier. The incumbent was one Marcelo Caetano but civil unrest was reaching breaking point. ON April 25th the "Carnation Revolution" was launched. The http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.giftrigger to action was a radio station playing the Portuguese Eurovision entry of that year, performed just weeks earlier in Brighton in the company of Abba, Olivia Newton-John and, er, Mouth & MacNeal. The song itself came equal last.

A year later the contest was in Gothenburg and Portugal were represented by Duarte Mendes. His song, "Madrugada", was a song full of celebration of the Carnation Revolution and it's liberating outcome. Portugal occupies a very low rung on the ladder of Eurovision accomplishment but few (if any) countries can match it for the signficance of Eurosongs in its recent history.

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Can Lena or Dana do a Johnny?

2011-03-23T19:11:00.008Z

As the dust settles after the 2011 selection season we have two artistes aiming for a second Eurovision title in Dusseldorf. The participation of reigning champion-erin Lena Meyer-Landrut was announced barely seconds after her Oslo triumph, whilst Sir Terry Wogan's favourite transexual was only rubberstamped as a Dusseldorf entry a couple of weeks ago. In the long history of the contest, many winners have come back for another stab at victory, but as most fans know, only one Mr Johnny Logan has pulled it off twice, so it's time to look at the others who haven't quite managed to recreate the magic. Here's a little table of those winners, and a look at the nearest near-misses:

1956 Lys Assia (SWZ) - 1957 (8th), 1958 (2nd)

Inaugural winner Swiss Lys was a very close runner-up in her third and last stab at Euro glory with this bouncy number:

1957 Corry Brokken (NED) - 1958 (8th)
1961 Jean-Claude Pascal (LUX) - 1981 (11th)
1962 Isabelle Aubret (FRA) - 1968 (3rd)
1964 Gigliola Cinquetti (ITA) - 1974 (2nd)

Gigliola returned to the contest a decade after her landslide with a ballad that was only bested by Abba. At the time Italy was having a referendum on abortion and the song title was regarded as so controversial that Italian TV didn't broadcast the 1974 contest live:

1973 Anne-Marie David (LUX/FRA) - 1979 (3rd)

Anne-Marie came back with a song that many fans rate more highly than her winner. See what you think.

1978 Izhar Cohen (ISR) - 1985 (5th)
1980 Johnny Logan (IRE) - 1987 (WINNER)
1985 Hanne Krogh of Bobbysocks (NOR) - 1991 (17th as part of Just 4 Fun)
1985 Elisabeth Andreassen of Bobbysocks (NOR) - 1994 (6th in duet with Jan-Werner Danielsen),- 1996 (2nd)

Euro veteran Bettan competed four times in Eurovision (once for Sweden) but this was the only time she flew solo.

1991 Carola (SWE) - 2006 (5th)
1993 Niamh Kavanagh (IRE) - 2010 (23rd)
1999 Charlotte Nilsson/Perrelli - 2008 (18th)

So will young Lena or dear Dana join Johnny in Eurovision history?

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Tony, Frank & Hazell .... A Classic Song For Europe

2011-03-09T18:01:00.006Z

In the week when the BBC unveil the 2011 United Kingdom entry, for the first time in fifty-four goes not giving the British public (even if they were just juries) no say whatsoever in choosing either singer or song, what could be more timely than a trip down memory lane to a classic UK final from thirty-five years ago. For the previous twelve years the BBC had secured the services of one act to perform multiple songs but for 1976 allcomers were invited to a glamourous final at no less than the Royal Albert Hall. These included some famous names past and present.

Propping up the scoreboard at the end of the evening was one Frank Ifield. Having been pipped into second place in the 1962 SFE, he rapidly shrugged off that disappointment to secure no less than four UK number ones in the next couple of years, his distinctive style marrying yodelling with some Anglo-Aussie hillbilly. Come 1976 though, this short but sweet ditty was a distant last.

A few places higher (equal seventh) was one Hazell Dean. The Eighties made her a gay icon with a string of Hi-NRG and pop hits, many under the Stock Aitken Waterman hit factory umbrella, and of course she has remained active to the present day. Like Frank, she had two stabs at Eurovision. In 1984 she again attained seventh place, just before she crossed-over from Boystown to pop chart success. What may not have helped is that both her entries were classic ballads rather than stompers, although still very pleasant.

Anyway enough of the also-rans, time for the top three. In quite a close third place was Mr Tony Christie. Like Ifield, at the time it seemed his finest hour had passed, as his chart hits in the early seventies fizzled. In 1976 he had been part of the original Evita album recording, and was drawn in the coveted last position in the draw order at the Albert Hall. Eventually it wasn't to be, and it would be three decades before Tony bounced back to the very top of the tree.

The fight for victory on this fabulous night went right to the wire. Runners-up by just a couple of points were Co-Co, featuring of course Eurovision's favourite Cheryl, and who would get their go two years later. What's less remembered is that their '76 song "Wake Up" was not a new song at all and had been previously recorded by short-lived glam rock band Arrows. Probably just as well it didn't win then.

But, as we all now know, the reconstituted Brotherhood Of Man (who have now lasted at least eighty-seven zillion times longer than the "United We Stand" line-up) squeezed through and went on to claim the UK's third victory in the Hague after a ding-dong (sorry Dana) battle with the French. An omen for 2011?. We shall see. But when the BBC just foist a song and singer on us it's nice to remember a classic year.

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Blue for Eurovision 2011: Obvious Really!

2011-02-04T22:29:00.006Z

Ta da! Last Sunday the BBC revealed that Nineties "boyband" (surely by now "manband") Blue had signed up to represent the United Kingdom in the fifty-sixth Eurovision Song Contest. Cue the hysterical outcries from the UK media, the most priceless probably being from an ex-manager who christened it "career suicide". This was swiftly followed by the usual parade of once-a-year journos who think that Eurovision is for novelties and that Nadia Almada or Margi Clarke would be a better bet than Blue. If any of these commentators actually bothered to watch recent contests they might clock that silly "kitsch" entries have had their day. We can but hope.

Anyway, back to Blue. If the BBC were ever going to sign-up an established act and give them carte-blanche to pick their own ditty, on recent evidence it was always going to be Blue.

In 2006 Antony Costa came within an ace of representing the UK in Athens with "Beautiful Thing", which was runner-up behind Daz Sampson, whose song included recorded backup vocals which were unable to be reproduced live on stage (not the first or last time for a UK entry sadly, but it screwed Antony).

Three years later our Duncan not only participated as an expert in the UK selection show, he (get this), only announced the UK vote, following in the hallowed footsteps of Colin Berry, Lorraine Kelly and, er.... Fearne Cotton.. oh well.

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Semi Final Draw Puts Big Hitters Together

2011-01-28T19:01:00.005Z

Last week the European Broadcasting Union had it's first showpiece event of 2011 as the semi-final "allocation" draw was held. The purpose of this was ostensibly to allocate countries to each of the two semi-finals which take place in the week of the contest. Yet, to rabid Eurovision watchers it was also a line in the sand as countries whose 2011 participation had been unclear (hello Bratislava) had to put up or shut up.

The semi-finalists were drawn into careful pots, based upon recent friendly voting patterns, and then half of each pot was assigned to the first semi and half to the second. The EBU did not draw the order of performance for each semi, only which half of the draw order each country would fall into, as they clearly know that Eurovision fanatics can only take so much excitement in one day or they would lapse into a catatonic fit chanting Evridiki songs.

So what of the "allocation draw" then? Actually the outcome is quite fascinating. Since the televoting era began certain countries by virtue of their ex-pats have had an in-built advantage as their diaspora has dutifully phoned in to vote regardless of the tunefulness of their homeland entry. After several years of the EBU ignoring this, presumably due to political expediency, they belatedly acknowledged it a couple of years ago and brought in 50/50 televoting and juries. This has reduced the effect of this sort of voting but it is still a major factor.

The 2011 draw is intriguing in that virtually all the major vote-hoovering countries have been placed in the first semi: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Greece, Russia, Serbia and Turkey. The only ones in the other semi are Ukraine and maybe Romania. Now the implications of this are twofold: first of all, six final places in semi-one are already probably stitched up so bad luck to the rest; secondly, anyone with a half-decent song in the second semi is laughing, and countries who haven't had a sniff of a Eurovision final for a while, like the Netherlands and Austria, have a great chance. Game On!.

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The Italian Job: When San Remo meant a UK hit

2011-01-23T16:03:00.005Z

As Italy's return to Eurovision after an absence of fourteen years is now confirmed, what better opportunity to have a look back at a period when Italian Eurovision entries routinely entered pop charts all over Europe. Yes you read that correctly. For most of the contests history anything other than the winner and the native entry making the pop charts been very much the exception. But exceptions there have been, like "Love Is Blue", "Congratulations", "Eres Tu" and, er... "Dancing Lasha Tumbai".

Most of the lesser known songs on that short list hail from the prodigal son of Eurovision, now welcomed with a great big fat direct final place in Dusseldorf. For the first decade of their Eurovision participation the Italians used the San Remo Song Festival to select their entry. Otherwise known as "Festival Della Canzone Italiana", it originated in 1951 and is still going strong today. The international reputation of the event and its winners was instrumental in converting some of the very first Italian entries into international hits. Daddy of all of course is "Volare" from the 1958 contest, but three more Italian entries went on to garner acclaim well after Eurovision.

Piove (1959) - Domenico Modugno

A year after "Volare" finished third, Modugno was back, his song more commonly known by its refrain "Ciao, Ciao Bambina". Whilst finishing exactly half way down the Cannes scoreboard, the original version of the song made #29 and a cover by Marino Marini & His Quartet topped that by peaking at #24.

Romantica (1960) - Jane Morgan

A year later and "Romantica", performed by Renato Rascel, toiled to eighth of thirteen at the Royal Festival Hall, yet once more the appeal of a San Remo winner remained, as an English cover version by American crooness Jane Morgan made #39 a few months after the contest.

Al Di La (1961) - Emilio Pericoli

The last Italian entry in this remarkable sequence, "Al Di La", restored national fortunes to a degree as Betty Curtis cracked the top five in Eurovision's then largest ever field of sixteen. A year later the song was featured in the movie "Rome Adventure" performed by another Italian, Emilio Pericoli (who would go on to represent Italy in 1963). His version charted on both sides of the Atlantic, peaking at #30 in the UK.

What's even more remarkable about this trio is that none of them received a single point from the UK!.

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Look At Our New Vignette, Aren't We Clever?

2010-12-23T19:46:00.006Z

Just when you think that Eurovision is sorted and sane, all those voting issues addressed, and we're both happily and clappily getting used to the idea of Lena Meyer-Landrut getting three hours of prime-time TV (sponsored all the way through by Stefan Raab) next May to engineer a quite "spontaneous" record-breaking (WOW!) second successive triumph, the European Broadcasting Union, presumably on the basis of planting a distraction, suddenly, well after the first (Swiss) entry of 2011, has been selected, comes up with an utterly pointless media planted story.

So us Eurovision sites have today been blessed with a "vignette". Essentially a 35 second video with flashy graphics telling us how wonderful Eurovision 2011 will be. No word on countries entering, any contest final specifics or indeed anything else.

Don't believe the hype as they say.

Merry Christmas from Nul Points! xxxx

John

Eurovision Heroes #11: Sandra Reemer

2010-12-13T19:31:00.005Z

Time to look at a lady from the far East who joins the small band of those to compete at Eurovision as a solo artist, as part of a duet and leading a group. Step forward Barbara Alexandra Reemer, born sixty years ago in Indonesia. As a schoolgirl her family moved to the Netherlands where Sandra soon started winning talent shows. Her first single was a cover of the classic Italian 1961 entry "Al-Di-La". In 1970 she made her first appearance in a Dutch national final but finished equal-bottom with "Voorbij is de winter". Two years later Sandra had developed a successful vocal partnership with Dries (Andres) Holten and Dutch TV selected them to represent the Netherlands in Edinburgh. After a three song national final, the jolly "Als het om de liefde gaat" was selected by a landslide. The 1972 contest featured no less than one-third of the eighteen countries sending boy/girl duets, but only Sandra and Andres prospered, as they finished a strong fourth with a song that gained much international airplay in the heyday of the contest.

Four years later the Dutch had a title to defend after "Ding-A-Dong" and Sandra performed as a solo artist. By now the language rules had (briefly) been relaxed, and the Dutch final featured five songs all sung in English. Reemer prevailed narrowly with the bittersweet "The Party's Over". In the final the song scored steadily if unspectacularly and achieved a creditable ninth place.

Three years on and the language rule was sadly now re-instated, but on a positive note Sandra got another clear shot at the Jerusalem contest, this time fronting her own band, christened "Xandra" (the name she had been called as a young girl). The song "Colorado" was an easy winner but didn't set the scoreboard alight on the big night, finishing twelfth. Reemer remains hugely popular in the Netherlands as both a singer and TV personality. At the start of the new millennium she joined forces with fellow Dutch Eurovision singers Maggie MacNeal (1974/80) and Marga Bult (1987) as The Dutch Divas, covering a shedload of cheesy Euro-classics, but after five years she pulled out, with some diva-esque acrimony. Another certified Nul Points Blog Eurovision Hero.

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Time For UK To Ditch The Kitsch

2010-09-19T16:16:00.005+01:00

Across Europe this late summer, the broadcasters of Europe are looking forward to how to choose a singer and song for the 2011 Eurovision Song Contest. This may involve anything from countless qualifying rounds to internal selections with experienced performers hand-picked by the local selection commitee. Meanwhile back in the UK it is business as usual. All is quiet at the BBC. Was it less than two years since they organised not only a peak-time reality show but a promotional tour as well?.

Into this vacuum of indecision and couldn't-care-less march the usual parade of chancers eyeing Eurovision as a desperate opportunity for a bit of publicity. Step forward 2004 Big Brother champ Nadia Almada, who croaked her way to a top thirty hit on the back of her original BB campaign. Step up also sometime soap actress Margi Clarke, who has actually gone public with a track.

If you can bear to drag yourself away from the video here's a priceless quote from Ms Clarke which spells out how out-of-touch these desperadoes really are:

"People will say, ‘Can she sing? Can she dance?’ Well, yes, I can. I love the whole kitsch appeal of Eurovision – you can break the rules with it, and that’s where I come in!"

Which all begs the question of how long it is since Ms Almada or Clarke have actually tuned in to the contest. Take a look at 2010. The plainest, least kitsch songs in the whole shebang came first and second. Every single camp/kitsch/novelty entry has sunk without trace in the last half-decade with the arguable exception of Lithuania's 2006 "We Are The Winners" and most of them get roundly booed off stage to boot. If the BBC are serious at all about a result in Germany, "kitsch" is the last thing they need.

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Nul Points Net has a new address!

2010-09-08T17:40:00.003+01:00

Just a quick update as you may have been looking for the main site and wondering why it's disappeared. It hasn't, it's just moved house, and can now be located in all its geeky splendour at http://www.nulpoints.net : we've removed that sneeky little hyphen but all the same old (same old, you say) content is intact. Now all the cardboard boxes have been emptied, the furniture arranged and the nic-nacs put on the mantelpiece and our new home is waiting to welcome you. Links in this blog are being updated at the mo', if you come across one directing to the old site it will soon be corrected.

Eurovision Heroes: #10 Wind

2010-08-02T19:48:00.008+01:00

As the blog returns after our summer, post-contest hiatus, time to look at the tenth of our heroes. In case you're new to the blog we classify a Eurovision hero as an artist or act that has competed three or more times at a contest final without ever claiming the Grand Prix.

To commemorate the second German triumph this year let's have a blast of Wind, who sang three times for Germany in the decade following their first win in Harrogate, twice very successfully.

They were formed in 1985 and narrowly won the national final ticket to Gothenburg with the anthemic "Fur Alle". In a contest with no dominant song they led the scoreboard for two-thirds of the voting before stalling with the final few juries to eke out a second place just ahead of the host country.

Two years later they returned to the German final and another close win with the rather cheesier "Lass Die Sonne In Dein Herz" (translated by more than one British wag as "Lost His Honour In That Hat"). Come the contest though in Brussels they were up against 1980 champ Johnny Logan with arguably his strongest Eurosong and never looked like challenging for the trophy. Having said that they were a clear second ahead of the hit Italian entry "Gente Di Mare".

After the fall of the Iron curtain in 1989 and more specifically the Berlin Wall, Eurovision was awash with anthems to peace, love and harmony over the next few contests. German acts with songs in the style of Wind were sent to the contests of 1990 and 1991 but both failed miserably, and come 1992 with a national final in the old Eastern city of Magdeburg it was time for Wind to roar back. "Träume Sind Für Alle Da" was a clear winner and so Wind were once more off to a Swedish contest, this time Malmo. Sadly this time their ditty failed to capture the imagination of the continental audience, maybe coming across now a little dated, and they limped to sixteenth of twenty-three.

Another six years on they came back to the German final performing with a protege Diana Sorbello and billed as "Diana & Wind". This though was the year of Guildo Horn, who swept all before him to get the ticket to Birmingham while our heroes trailed in fifth. Like Herr Horn, Wind were once more difficult to shift and the next year popped up once more, this time finishing second-last. This was to be their swansong at the contest, although Wind in their latest line-up are still active in the peculiarly Germanic phenomenon that is the "Schlager" scene. The list of acts who have scored a brace of top two finishes in the contest is not very long. Their entries may sound somewhat dated and cheesy almost thirty years on, but Wind have a firm place in Eurovision history, their double runners-up ably backing up Nicole to give Germany far and away their best decade in the contest.

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BBC To Answer For Another UK Fiasco

2010-05-31T17:20:00.007+01:00

On Saturday night the United Kingdom sank to it's third last place in the last eight Eurovisions. On previous occasions it has been easy for the media to jump upon the lazy "Nobody likes the UK and all those nasty Eastern countries just vote for each other" line. Just one year ago after a concerted compaign of promotion and a thoughtfully staged performance the UK finished fifth, so let's nail that stupid excuse right away. The last two years national juries have been brought in to counteract the worst excesses of public voting and it is working well.

Two days ago Germany, whose record over the last decade was almost as wretched as our own, won a clear victory with a thoroughly modern song produced after a selection process similar in some ways to UK's last year, the main difference being that the song was up for selection as well as the singer. After 2009 and Jade Ewen's "My Time", the BBC in it's infinite wisdom decided to again go for a pre-chosen song coupled with an artist selection show. While that show was scaled down from a month long prime-time Saturday night exercise to a one-night-only Friday show, the start and end of the 2010 UK Eurovision fiasco was the song.

Since their first entry in 1957 right up to 2008 the BBC have always held an open final, yet someone thought that the pre-chosen song concept was the path to stick to for 2010, despite the fact that such an approach was dependent on the pre-chosen song being any good. The UK's other two last places in the last decade where Jemini in 2003 (who won a weak national final and then sang off-key in Latvia) and Andy Abrahams in 2008 whose victory was largely a sympathy vote for him losing out on X-Factor. Both times the Great British public were partly to blame for maybe sending the wrong song (although in neither year were there any obviously strong alternatives).

In 2010 the BBC had a dud song and yet they refused to look for another or stage an open final. Rumours are lately abounding on the web that both Katie Melua and the Xenomania (Girls Aloud) production team were in the running but couldn't come to an agreement with the Beeb. Know what we think? Open selections have brought the United Kingdom five Eurovision winners and that must be the policy for 2011. Have faith in British songwriters, or open up to foreign composers like so many other nations do, if need be. Put the choice of our Eurosong in the hands of the UK public. Then we only have ourselves to blame. Unlike this year when our arrogant Auntie has it all to answer for.

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Eurovision 2010: The Review

2010-05-31T16:32:00.008+01:00

As the dust settles on the fifty-fifth contest, a few observations:

Thrilled that Germany won, for several reasons. No other big four country has put in more effort over the last decade only to fall flat (ish) on the big night. We're thinking Rcger Cicero, Texas Lightning and even Max to an extent. Also, despite sounding like she learned English vowels from the gendarme in "Allo Allo", Lena and her song have been a proven massive hit in the territories already exposed to them and a massive pan-continental hit will surely follow.

Only thirteen points separated fourth place and ninth. While Germany was a clear winner it was much more exciting voting than last year. However if we retain the idea of thirty-five plus countries voting a knife-edge nailbiter like 2003 is probably never going to happen again.

Maybe this is a major turning point for the contest as a song with zero effort on stageing and choreography triumphs ahead of all those elaborate props. Turkey and Belgium were equally "anti-performance" as it were. Stereotypical kitschy Eurovision may be on it's last legs (quite possibly down to the input of expert jurors these last two years)?.

Having said that, the impact of the friendly vote from ex-pats and neighbours was more evident than last year although still thankfully tempered by the juries. Turkey, Greece, Armenia and Azerbaijan still sailed into the top ten on diaspora. The Ukraine and Russia were there and thereabouts on neighbours.

Despite the voting being open from the very start this year the draw order remained a factor. The bottom six places were all occupied by songs peformed in the first half of the competition, most of them in the first half-dozen.

Also of interest was the collective dismissal of the big ballad. Ireland, Norway and Belarus fell flat as did (relatively) the Azeri red-hot favourite. As for the UK, so much to say and that will be coming soon ;o).

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Eurovision 2010: Our Final Predictions

2010-05-28T22:15:00.018+01:00

Time to put our heads on the block and make some predictions for the final of the fifty-fifth Eurovision Song Contest. We picked nine out of ten for the first semi (missing Moldova) and eight for the second (missing Cyprus and Denmark). This will be the second year that 50/50 jury and televoting has been used and so we should assume that, as last year, the crippling effect of friendly voting will again be significantly diluted but still be a factor. The major change this year is that the voting is open from the very first song. This should in theory mean that the significance of draw order will be diluted too, although as of course people can phone as many times as they like they may cast a vote for song three then decide later on they like song eighteen even more so call again. It's obviously all about maximising phone revenue. On that basis here are our thoughts about the finalists:

01: AZERBAIJAN

Long time bookies favourite (even before the song was chosen!), the Azeris have executed a campaign much reminiscent of Russia's in 2008, which was massively effective. Has to be in the shake-up, although no certainty. People like an energetic song to open the contest and this ain't the one.

02: SPAIN

Hugely charismatic singer from a country we thought was giving up the Eurovision ghost and taking the piss of it's Big Four status. Wrong!. Song and singer are fantastic and only the draw (the legendary doomed #2 spot AND being sandwiched between two other ballads) can diminish its chances.

03: NORWAY

I hear that a fantastic dance remix of this (by no less than the 7th Heaven production team) is in the pipeline, however until then we are stuck with the original. The UK almost sent practically the same song to the contest three years ago by Cyndi until Terry Wogan realized he'd announced the wrong winner. That like this was treading the VERY well worn Titanic/You Raise Me Up etc etc path and frankly comes across as somewhat desperate. May do very well but for all the wrong reasons.

04: MOLDOVA

The 2006 contest began with about seven or eight slow songs so it will be like Christmas for many when Moldova finally get the party started at position four. We didn't pick this for the final, alcohol clearly made us forget that 90s dancey stuff has qualified on and off the last few years. What we don't forget is that once in the final such tracks die a death and that will surely transpire for the pluck Moldovans.

05: CYPRUS

Were we happy that this made the final?. The most delicious surprise of the semis. One of the best songs of this years contest from a country has had too many DNQs lately. Having said that the people who like this will probably also like Belgium a couple of songs later, so sadly a top fifteen spot is probably the best we can hope for.

06: BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA

Didn't rate this at all until the semi when it came across really well (is it just us or is there more testosterone on stage this year than ever?). Having said that it IS Bosnia so no real surprise that it qualified from the easier semi. We can't see much support on Saturday outside the usual neighbour and ex-pat suspects.

07: BELGIUM

Oh Belgium. Our favourite more than once in the last decade, Flemish and Walloon TV have democratically alternated DNQs since the semis started. When we first heard the studio version, it's fair to say that Tom's voice immediately trumped Germany to the "Most Irritating Singer 2010" award. Rehearsals and the semi though have put those fears to bed and this is a charming and real contender.

08: SERBIA

Sorry we just don't get this at all. Geeky looking guy with a song that sounds as old as Eurovision itself. Still it's Serbia so it should get shedloads of votes from ex-pats and other ex-Yugos after Croatia's shock semi-final exit. Will do better than it should.

09: BELARUS

Our Heath-Robinson semi-final vote calculator did the business in semi one in predicting nine out of ten qualifiers, but it also flagged up Belarus with the highest score. After viewing their semi performance that tool has been quietly retired. Great ballad executed very poorly both by singers and stagers.

10: IRELAND

At the risk of being hung, drawn and slaughtered by our Irish friends, I really think this is going nowhere and was very lucky to qualify. It ticks all the boxes in the cheesy ballad category and Niamh is a fantastic singer but after all the build-up the chorus dies on it's feet.

11: GREECE

Now here is a real contender and the stage may collapse under the combined masculinity as we stop just short of a Village People moment. It's chanty, it's a big show and it's from a country with a massive guaranteed vote before a note has been sung. Top three for sure.

12: UK

We have the bones of an OK song here but the execution by the composers, artist and stagers is disappointing. Nothing at all wrong with doing retro Eighties high energy (although some people having Nicki French flashbacks are clearly still working through their issues). The chorus kicks off a storm then goes all downbeat just when you expect a climax and it sort of morphs into "Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend". Let's hope for the best.

13: GEORGIA

After being chucked out of last years contest because they sent a song to Moscow mocking President Putin, the Georgians are back with a standard issue pouting diva and a very nice song. No winner but will get high votes from all the ex-Soviets.

14: TURKEY

Turkey in this century have two modes: it's either "whiff of the souk" (c. Terry Wogan) or a rocky macho number, and they have opted for the latter this year. They have more guaranteed votes than any other country thanks to diaspora so a top ten is guaranteed, we think it will struggle to get much higher.

15: ALBANIA

Always a contender, the semi-final performance and Juliana's makeover from basket hairdo to full-on pop chick have pushed Albania to the very forefront. We love this to bits and think it a deffo top five.

16: ICELAND

Malta DNQ'd once more this year but if you'd had too much alcohol on Tuesday night you might have thought their lucky charm Chiara had transformed into a dance diva. This like the UK is old fashioned gay disco territory and we can't see it setting the scoreboard alight in the final although Hera is a one of the best singers this year.

17: UKRAINE

The Ukraine's build-up this year was dogged by controversy as the original entry was kicked out when a new goverrment was elected. Good job Mr Cameron doesn't have an issue with Josh. A great singer with a somewhat "heavy" ballad, probably unlikely to garner much beyond the usual ex-Soviet love-in.

18: FRANCE

After years of not really caring (they haven't staged a national final in living memory) the French persuaded the majestic Patricia Kaas to sing for them last year and achieved their best result since 2002. This year, like maybe the UK, it's back to minimal effort and they have chosen a World Cup soccer anthem to go to Oslo. While the laziness is astounding, and rehearsal reports have been underwhelming, it can't be denied that less than a fortnight before the World Cup a soccer themed song will capture some imaginations. Don't write this one off completely.

19: ROMANIA

Another real contender. In a year with so many ballads, a tuneful and half-cheesy tune that sounds moderately recent (that's twenty years ago in Eurovision land) will do well. Add to that it's Romania with a nice little coterie of friends, and a decent draw, and you can see a great result.

20: RUSSIA

The feathers flew on Tuesday night when this qualified, and this is fans, who are supposed to know their stuff? The Russian Federation, as it is formally known, has almost as many guaranteed votes as Turkey. This is a clever, deliberately downbeat number that sets out to be as un-Eurovisony as humanly possible, yet remains one of the most entertaining entries this year. Expect more outrage when this makes the top ten. Lord have mercy.

21: ARMENIA

Submitting an entry that joins a very short list of Eurovision songs about fruit, the Armenians are smarting after bitter neighbours Azerbaijan trumped them in Moscow last year. Without the resources of their nemisis they have gone for the lethal combination of a big ballad and big boobies. It is all very nice and if the draw still means something, "Apricot Stone" has a plum position (sorry).

22: GERMANY

Germany of all the big four have made an effort to send something interesting to the contest in the last decade, only to be met each time with a resounding "No Thanks" from the Eurovision audience. This year a casting show has produced Lena and her wacky English phrasing, More importantly a song that has sold absolute shedloads in Germany, Austria and Switzerland, despite sounding like a poor rip-off of Aleisha Dixon's "The Boy Does Nothing". If middle Europe is right we may have a winner, let's see what the territories West and (more importantly) East think of it.

23: PORTUGAL

By far the country waiting longest for their first win (forty-six years!) the Portuguese once more make the final with one of their identikit feel-good numbers sung by a cute brunette. Criticizing Portugal at Eurovision is a bit like kicking a puppy so let's just say this is OK but won't trouble the top of the scoreboard.

24: ISRAEL

In the bookmakers top five for months, Israel have a fantastic draw, especially well placed for a ballad right after two uptempo songs. Harel is a fine singer but rehearsal reports have been disappointing. No winner but a solid result.

25: DENMARK

Finally it's Denmark, the Tupperware of Eurovision in the last few years. Solid and dependable but never exciting. Will benefit from the Scandi vote after the demise of Sweden and Finland in the semis and it's an easy listening sort of ditty. Surely way too bland and safe though to set the scoreboard alight.

So, after all that, Nul Points Final 2010 Predictions:

01 GREECE
02 ARMENIA
03 BELGIUM
04 AZERBAIJAN
05 ALBANIA
06 ROMANIA
07 TURKEY
08 SPAIN
09 ISRAEL
10 RUSSIA
11 GERMANY
12 GEORGIA
13 NORWAY
14 SERBIA
15 UKRAINE
16 FRANCE
17 PORTUGAL
18 DENMARK
19 IRELAND
20 CYPRUS
21 BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA
22 BELARUS
23 ICELAND
24 MOLDOVA
25 UNITED KINGDOM

I hope you all have a fantastic Eurovision night!!!!!!

xxxx

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It's For You: Has Ireland Done Enough? Semi Two Verdict And A Review

2010-05-26T19:36:00.009+01:00

So the first semi-final of the fifty-fifth Eurovision has come and gone, and while we were happy as **** to have predicted nine out of the ten qualifiers, it's still possible to draw a few early conclusions from last night. This year the semi-final voting was amended to be 50/50 public/juries to bring it in line with the voting in the Saturday final. This was a logical step, and much needed, as the semi-final results of the last few years had been overwhelmingly dominated by neighbour and ex-pat votes. So much so that several nations gave up the ghost all together last year as progression to the final became clearly an impossible dream. So we bid goodbye to Andorra, Czech Republic and Montenegro. The EBU who are obsessed with numbers, decided it was right to bring in 50/50.

Along with the newbies, the "old" Eurovision stalwarts in Western Europe who have no ex-pat brigade have had to endure a series of DNQs. 50/50 in the semi was supposed to help alleviate that, without of course totally counteracting friendly votes. The first semi qualifiers last night were dominated by the East. Russia's qualification with a clever if downbeat song apparently brought boos in the arena from the fanboys. Even tempered by juries, the entries from countries with the most friendly votes will still hold an advantage. Let's just hope it's smaller than before. Malta and Slovakia were the most prominent losers last night. The Slovakian entry was bigged up by fans but the execution was dire. Malta has zero friendly votes. Belgium made the final for the first time since 2004 and there may have been a riot in the Telenor Arena if they hadn't: the fact still remains that even in 50/50 you gotta have friends.

So to Semi Two tomorrow. This heat's equivalent of Belgium is Ireland, whose seven victories put it at the very top of the Euro medal table, yet have floundered over the last decade. This year they have brought back 1993 winner Niamh Kavanagh. We think they may have just done enough to qualify. As for the first semi, more information here on our "methodology", but here are our qualifiers from semi two:

ARMENIA
ISRAEL
SWEDEN
AZERBAIJAN
UKRAINE
ROMANIA
IRELAND
CROATIA
GEORGIA
TURKEY

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Tom This Has Gone Too Far: Semi Final One Verdict

2010-05-24T21:13:00.005+01:00

Twenty four hours to go before semi one and time to put up and shut up with our selections for Tuesday night. More than anything else the brief history of the semi-finals has been dominated by the narrative of the same countries qualifying every year. This was essentially the nations with the most friendly votes. Two years ago the system was modified to include two semi-finals. Whilst the Scandis benefitted as their friendly quota raised them above the threshold, many countries remained perennial DNQs. A few months ago Andorra, the Czech Republic and Montenegro gave up the ghost without one final appearance between them. Some older stalwarts decided to give it one more go and so we arrive at 2010 Semi One. After six years absence (and at least two years when they have been Nul Points favourites) Belgium look assured to make the final thanks to the quirky talents of Tom Dice (pictured above).

The ten picks we have chosen for semi one are explained here on the main site. In a nutshell our choices are these (in performance order) :

RUSSIA
LATVIA
SERBIA
BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA
BELGIUM
ALBANIA
GREECE
PORTUGAL
BELARUS
ICELAND

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Nul Points Review: #6 Eurovision Languages

2010-05-13T18:20:00.006+01:00

Eurovision entries can be no longer than three minutes and they must have a vocal - there have never been totally instrumental entries (though the 1995 Norwegian winner came closest). So what language to sing in? When the contest began, songs were performed in native tongue by habit, but after Sweden tried something in English in 1965, rules were brought in. From 1966 to 1998 entries had to be sung in a native language of the country (with the exception of a five year period in the mid 70s which coincided with string of big selling contest winners like "Waterloo" and "Save Your Kisses For Me"). During this period, Scandinavian and Benelux countries took the chance to sing in English and all tended to fare better because of it. After a series of English language winners in the early and mid-nineties it was perhaps long overdue to free-up the language and that happened in 1999.

During the native language era, there were some oddities when the most obvious national language was overlooked for something a bit more exotic, and here are a few examples:

Many Irish national finals have featured a ditty in Gaelic but this is the only one to make it to the contest (in 1972):

While Ireland in their heyday liked to call themselves "The Home Of Eurovision" it's fair to say that Switzerland will always hold claim to that title, as despite a horrendous record over the last two decades they gave us Eurovision in Lugano in May 1956. Thirty-three years later, courtesy of a certain Celine Dion, they got to host the contest for a second time. Their Eurovision history has delivered plenty of songs in French, German and Italian. Yet on defending their title they subnitted a song in fourth language Romansch, spoken by less than one percent of the Swiss population.

On to 1992 and La Belle France. A year earlier the exotic "Le Dernier Qui A Parlé" missed out on the Grand Prix solely on a tie-break, and France went to Malmo with a song in French Creole.

How did these songs do? Ireland's Gaelic effort was 15th of 18, the Swiss Romansch song 13th of 22 and the French Creole entry a much better 8th of 23. As time has progressed, the voting public seem more open to new languages. What do you think?.

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Eurovision Heroes: #9 Ireen Sheer

2010-04-25T18:28:00.003+01:00

Time to look at Eurovision's Essex Girl made good. Ireen Sheer was born as Ireen Wooldridge in Basildon in 1949. According to her official site she won a BBC talent show as an eleven year old in 1960, however little is known about the next decade, until Ireen turned up on the German music scene in the early seventies. After the 1973 Eurovision, little Luxembourg had won two contests in a row courtesy of Greek and French chanteueses singing songs by French composers. They had also just blown a small fortune on security at the 1973 event in Luxembourg City, when (with terrorist groups around Europe seeing Eurovision as a legit target) the contest audience was warned not to stand up to applaud or they would be shot. It was no surprise then that the Luxenbourgers bailed out of hosting a second contest in a row. Not for the first time (but probably the last) the BBC and Katie Boyle stepped up to host. Luxembourg were still invited to the party and chose Ireen to represent them in Brighton, just a hundred miles or so from her birthplace, with "Bye Bye I Love You". Her song, performed predominantly in French, despite the title (and the open language rule in force at the time) was unlucky in being drawn to perform right after Abba's groundbreaking performance. Ireen achieved an exceptionally creditable equal fourth place in arguablty the strongest contest ever. All three songs that beat her made the UK top ten.

Now a fixture on the German light-entertainment scene, Ireen competed in the 1976 German final but languished in 8th place with "Einmal Wasser, Einmal Wein". Two years on she returned with the disco-tinged "Feuer" to a quite bizarre German national final staged only on radio. Fifteen songs competed in Baden-Baden with a combined vote of radio listeners and an expert jury. However the "experts" thought that none of the songs were good enough to represent Germany and recommended that Germany withdraw!. Happily German TV/Radio ignored there sentiments and went wholly with radio listeners votes, and Ireen was off to another contest, this time in Paris. In a contest where musical styles quite at odds with curremt styles prospered, Ireen's turbo disco sailed to a very respectable sixth place.

Fast forward to 1985 in Gothenburg and our Ms Sheer turns up again for the Grand Duchy, who had won the contest just two years earlier with Corinne Hermes. This time the powers that be in Luxembourg decided on a six-piece vocal group to deliver a clever and/or annoying ensemble piece about the delights of children. The group appeared to be assembled from experienced-middle-Europeanly-popular vocalists of a certain age who had a free Saturday night for the contest. Some listings insisted on all their full names, others just called them "The Internationals" The group included 1960s UK hitmaker Malcolm Roberts and American vocalist Diane Solomon, who had her own TV show on the BBC on the 1970s. Amid this stellar presence, Ireen did her best, but the complex cheesefest fell flat into thirteenth of nineteen.

Ireen remains a hugely popular artist in that mysterious "schlager" style that only seems to have a life in the Germanic countries, and made a stab to represent Germany once more in 2002 in duet with Bernhard Brink that fell rather flat. Our Basildon diva remains of course a true Eurovision Hero!.

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2010 Betting Assumes Eurovision Is Current

2010-04-15T18:53:00.009+01:00

As the dust settles after the final submission of the thirty-nine songs for Eurovision 2010, the interest starts in picking a winner from the assembled ditties. We don't yet know the final version of the UK entry, which has been mercilessly kicked about like a dead chicken's head on the internet over the last month, to the extent of the BBC being so reticent about revealing the new version, there's a chance that we won't hear the contest arrangement until very near the big night. Someone should tell the BBC that at least fifty percent of the harping has come from serial UK-entry-knockers who would be in orgasms if "That Sounds Good To Me" was delivered by Slovakia or Portugal.

On to the early betting. Last year it was very clear at this point that Norway had a song that was virtually a guaranteed winner, and so (a couple of months later it was resoundingly proven). The year before we had total televoting and Russia's victory was equally predictable.

So on to 2010 and fifty-fifty in both semi and final, and also, more pertinently no one obvious contender. The bookmakers, who doubtless take the early fan polls as a lead, have installed Germany and Azerbaijan as virtually joint early favourites. The German entry has sold shedloads in the fatherland and in Austria and Switzerland and is basically a Teutonic fraulein delivering "Satellite", which may be a tribute to those years in the Nineties that those of us in the UK got loads of lovely free German channels on our Astra dish, or more likely a sly variation on Alesha Dixons "The Boy Does Nothing" with the worst English pronunciation on a Eurovision entry since Jacqueline Boyer's ill fated cover of "Tom Pillibi" fifty years ago. Perhaps it's a Silver Jubilee Tribute ???

The Azeris, who are on a roll after a top three result last year in only their second contest, dithered with their song choice after selecting Safina, sorry Safura as their 2010 chanteuse. They declared "Drip Drop" as their entry a short while later and have gone into overdrive in promoting their entry including buying loads of internet ads and sending the redoubtable Safira around Europe on a promo. The song itself is heavily R&B influenced and sounds very modern, without being startlingly wonderful. I can't surely be the only one haunted by visions of homeboys in the hood wandering the streets of Baku?.

So the bookies think that Eurovision 2010 will be won by a contemporary song. Even a cursory glance backwards would suggest that Eurovision is way behind popular trends, so this reliance on current styles is more than desperate. But such is www.internetfrenzy.com that favourites must be made. Way Way Way too long to go, so let's calm down.

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They All Started Somewhere

2010-04-02T20:47:00.003+01:00

As all 39 songs of the fifty-fifth Eurovision have now been revealed and we have a two month hiatus of promotional tours and internet over-excitement, time to take another look back at Eurovision's rich archive and three countries who have each in their way become Eurovision colossus. All three debuted in consecutive years in the mid seventies, an era still regarded by many as the golden age of Eurovision. At this point the contest was very much the property of Western Europe. The communist countries behind the Iron Curtain were excluded by politics (excepting of course Yugoslavia, who were at the party from the early days) but there were still territories in the Eastern part of the continent outside the Eurovision family. Malta debuted in 1971 but after two disastrous results they only made one more appearance in the next two decades.

In 1973 a country not even technically in Europe made its debut. Israel is now (for all sorts of reasons) accepted as part of Europe in all things sporting, yet in 1973 it's appearance at the contest was greeted with much surprise. However, Eurovision participation has always been open to active members of the European Broadcasting Union and countries from the Middle East and North Africa have long been members. Israel debuted with "Ey-Sham" by Ilanit, which drew plumb last position in the draw and proceeded to finish an excellent fourth of seventeen in Luxembourg City. Within six years Israel would have won two contests in succession and firmly asserted themselves as major players at the contest.

One year later the contest convened in Brighton for the most legendary and high-profile contest ever. Yet behind the hype of Abba, Olivia Newton-John, Gigliola Cinquetti and the Wombles, quite unnoticed, Greece made it's Eurovision bow. A quiet and very authentic entry, "Krassi, Thalassa Ke T'Agori Mou" by Marinella, eased to eleventh of seventeen without much fanfare. The next few years would see several top ten results for Greece but it would be the new millennium before they assumed a regular place at the top table of Eurovision.

On to Stockholm 1975 and the debut of Turkey who of course straddle Europe and Asia. At the time there was much conflict between Greece and Turkey and if one competed at Eurovision the other would generally withdraw. Turkey's first song was the wonderful "Seninle Bir Dakika" by Semiha Yanki. In 1975 it was sadly quite at odds with the bouncy Eurotunes of the times and sailed in a resounding last place. It would be 1980 before Turkey became regular entrants and the next decade or so saw a string of generally dire results as the Turks stuck resolutely to their guns in sending entries true to their ethnic style. Come the new millennium however, accompanied by semi-finals and telephone voting, their fortunes were transformed, capped by a victory in the close 2003 contest, and they are now virtually guaranteed a top ten place every year.

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Delicious Draw Whets The Appetite

2010-03-24T17:04:00.005Z

Tuesday saw the draw for the semi-finals of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest and also the draw for placing of the five direct qualifying countries in the final. Once upon a time, the public at large only became aware of the running order on the night itself when the (most definitely non-GUI) scoreboard was revealed at the start of the contest. But to be fair, in those days too we all thought nothing of the running order. The best song would win, would it not?. As the judging then was entirely by juries, it was a reasonable enough assumption to make. In 1971 the preview shows broadcast before the event revealed the order of performance, and by the 80s the birth of Eurovision fanclubs like OGAE and their associated fanzines like "Vision" in the UK kept fans informed of developments including the draw.

The rise of the internet pretty much coincided with the relaxing of the language rule and the introduction of public voting, and suddenly draw order became a topic, especially after a run of contests in the late Nineties when almost without exception the songs drawn at the start did uniformly badly. So the draw is now a big event. This is because anyone can cast a vote via their phone whether they have heard one song or all songs (or even no songs... hello ex-pats, love as always). But as the numbers to ring and the exhortation to vote is at the end, there are going to be many people voting who haven't tuned in from the start. This is not balanced by people who watch the start and then tune out, as they will be watching something else at vote time.

Not exactly rocket science. To be fair the EBU have taken steps to combat this in 2010 by opening the telephone voting at the very start of the contest, also making the semis fifty percent jury like the final was last year. We shall see what effect that has. The draw order still retains huge significance however. Nul Points Net detailed research is available here.

The 2010 draws are totally delicious. In Semi One, mighty Russia has been drawn at #2 (the legendary worst draw), fan favourite Slovakia is at #4, Portugal are placed as peacekeeping buffer between Greece and FYR Macedonia, and Belarus dubious replaced song is followed by resurgent Iceland at the end of the draw. In the Semi Two, Armenia, kings of the SIM card confetti are allotted the second place of doom, and the much hyped Israeli song is #3, followed by the only slightly less hyped Danish ditty. Azerbaijan, who have an amazing strike rate after just two entries are at #7. 1993 winner Niamh Kavanagh is well placed at #12 and our NP fave Cyprus is #14, just ahead of hotly tipped Croatia at #15. If you can get any bookmaker offering odds on Turkey making the final, bite their hand off (well not literally) as with the perfect draw and a huge diaspora... enough said. The draw for direct finalists is equally tantalising as the heavily touted Spanish and Norwegian songs landed at #2 and #3, the rather "meh" UK song at #12, the French chant at a jaunty #18 and the
German idol at a promising #22.

Quite a few countries have been regularly knocked back in the semis. Already, Andorra, Czech Republic and Montenegro have given up trying to make their first Eurovision final. No country this year will make its first appearance in a final. Belarus, FYR Macedonia, Slovenia, Ireland and Bulgaria come in on the back of two consecutive DNQs, Switzerland three, Cyprus four and Belgium & The Netherlands five. Maybe this year, with the changes mentioned, some of these will get a result they deserve, if not a few more withdrawals cannot be ruled out.

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Cyber Response Spreads The Jitters

2010-03-18T18:57:00.009Z

Once upon a time, a country picked its Eurovision entry, usually in a televised final, then sent it off to compete with the rest a few weeks later on. Until 1970 the first time you would hear the rivals to your own entry was on the big night. The European Broadcasting Union then introduced preview shows, where video clips of each entry were presented in the immediate run-up to the contest. The internet age has of course meant that nowadays as soon as an entry is selected, the mp3 and video are all over the web (by legal means or otherwise) and with that of course comes instantaneous reaction.

There is a long list of songs that have been selected for Eurovision but didnt make it, for reasons ranging from plagiarism to the country itself not being eligible to enter the contest, but the advent of instant judgement by an army of picky fans in cyberspace has opened up a whole new genre.

At this point it must be emphasized that the tastes of committed Eurovision Song Contest fans have often been proved to bear little correlation to the tastes of the public at large as revealed on contest night. Winners like "Fly On The Wings Of Love" (2000), "Believe" (2008), and almost every Irish winner in the Nineties were near the very bottom of fan polls.

Yet more than ever, the web reaction is eagerly anticipated by TV stations who are responsible for choosing their national entry. At one time it was easy to dismiss it as confined to those funny ex-Soviets. How we laughed in 2005 when Belarussian diva Angelica Agurbash, after ditching "Boys And Girls" for the disco-tastic "Love Me Tonight", fell flat on her sparkly arse and failed to make the final even with the new song!. Yet just one year later a Eurovision stalwart, France, did pretty much the same thing when the song chosen for Virginie Pouchin, "Nous C'est Vous" was not deemed suitable to her vocal style. The replacement went on to scale the giddy heights of twenty-second out of twenty-four.

Fast forward to 2010 and the Ukraine, currently narrowly top of the Nul Points Net country rankings are in a tailspin after their original choice has fallen as flat as a stale kiev. Vasily Lazarovich )above) was chosen as their representative and performed five songs in the national final on March 6th, the song "I Love You" winning (apparently) the ticket to Oslo. However, this week state television NTU decided it was "wrong" to deny other artists the chance to go to Eurovision and has annulled the result of the first final. Nothing at all to do with Vasily's ditty finishing bottom of the fan polls. Not at all...

Anyone tempted to cast another knowing glance eastwards should consider the predicament of the other "U" country in the contest. Just days after the UK final, the overwhelming negative reaction to the pre-determined Mike Stock/Pete Waterman song "That Sounds Good To Me" has sent composer Stock and performer Josh Dubovie back into the studios looking to revamp/rewrite the song into an arrangement that will meet wider approval. Again on the assumption that fans reflect the views of the masses. Let's hope for the best. Cherish these clips. You may not hear their like again.

UPDATE March 19th.... BELARUS PULL THE SAME STUNT (AGAIN!).
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Back To Basics For The BBC

2010-03-06T15:14:00.004Z

2009 saw the BBC pull out all the stops for Eurovision. After Andy Abraham's "Even If" crowned a shocking set of results by finishing very bottom of the pile in Belgrade, a result and contest which saw Sir Terry Wogan giving up the ghost, yet another revamp was needed and suddenly a Big Gun made his services available for the national cause. Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber had featured alongside Graham Norton on successful casting series to find leads for Joseph, Oliver and The Sound Of Music, and "Your Country Needs You" fitted effortlessly into the Saturday BBC1 peak schedules for five weeks in January 2009, although the means by which the winner Jade Ewen was constantly pimped throughout the series was less welcome. But credit where it's due, Jade and "My Time" went on to obtain fifth place in Moscow, which in these days of forty-odd nations, probably equates to a top three finish in the UK's golden era.

Twelve months on and we are back to a one-off show, and this time not even on a Saturday. The BBC have procured another Big Gun in the shape of Pete Waterman, who has apparently composed our entry with ex-cohort Mike Stock. Like last years series (and the three years before), the show will feature six acts, and again we have the regulation two blokes, two girls and two combos. Each will perform a cover version (of what we don't yet know) and then they will be reduced to three acts. By a celebrity panel..... long time British Eurofans will shudder in horror as this very same method was used in 2008, only then the six acts were paired against each other. So who are being trusted to root out the chaff and ensure that the best bet at some Euro success remains for the public vote?. Well, we have Pete Waterman, which is fair enough. Jade Ewen, who twelve months on is now a Sugababe and obviously having been through the whole process herself yadda yadda...... and then we have Bruno Tonioli. Yes indeedy. Sold to us as a "performance judge". As four of the six acts are soloists there can't be too much choreography for him to get excited about, so can someone tell us how he is qualified to judge vocals?. The answer of course is that he isn't, but the BBC just can't shake off the notion that a flamboyant male personality must be qualified to comment on all things Eurovision. Anyone who remembers John Barrowman's regular pearls of wisdom can testify that is a sad misconception.

The three acts chosen by the panel will then each perform the entry and the good British public are then allowed to have the final say. Speculation before the event centres on the type of song, as SAW were not famous for their ballads, and also on the presence of a five-piece group, Uni5, in the list of entrants. Many are envisaging a combination of a perky song and boy/girl choreography that would in the manner of Steps (or dare we say Scooch). The fact that someone somewhere still thinks that this would be a good fit for Eurovision in 2010 suggests some very short memories indeed. Still, it is easy to make assumptions before we have seen the show and heard the song. Let's hope for a great song and a fair contest where the best act gets the trip to oslo!.

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Eurovision Heroes: #8 Hot Eyes

2010-02-14T18:06:00.005Z

Time to pay tribute to the Danish duo with the silly name who put the pep back into Eurovision and a smile back on our faces. In an era when Eurovision was largely dominated by big ballads and even bigger hair, two people from Denmark kept us more than entertained with their shenanigans. Kirsten Siggard was born in 1954 and grew up working in a bank and singing in a church choir. By 1983 she was accomplished enough to enter the Danish selection for Eurovision and at this point her path crossed with one Søren Bundgaard. The latter, born in 1956, was at this point part of a group called Sir Henry and the group collaborated with Siggard at the Danish final. Sadly the song "Og Livet Går" finished seventh of ten.At this point Bundgaard decided to quit his group and pursue Eurovision success alongside Siggard. A year later they won the Danish final by one point, after a routine climaxed by Bundgaard being pushed into a swimming pool by Siggard, and set off for Luxembourg City. "Kirsten and Soren" domestically, they rebranded themselves as "Hot Eyes" for the contest and did themselves and Denmark proud (even without the benefit of an on-stage water feature). The Danes had taken an eleven year break from the contest after 1966 and since their return had not exactly set Eurovision alight, yet "Det' Lige Det" actually led the contest at three points during the voting and, despite eventually finishing fourth, is one of the very small number of non-winners to have received votes (under the present voting system) from every single other country. Take a look and enjoy.

A year later the pair again won the Danish final, this time by a somewhat wider margin, with "Sku' Du Spørg' Fra No'en". This time no swimming pool in sight, but the song featured "call and answer" from Bundgaard's nine-year old daughter Lea, one of the youngest to appear on a Eurovision stage (an age limit was imposed a few years later as Eurovision was threatening to go all Minipops). This entry was a good deal less successful ( Nul Points would concur with it being their weakest Eurosong) and limped home eleventh as neighbours Norway and Sweden took first and third place with equally perky entries.

Maybe as a reaction to this, the Danish rejected the pairs offerings the next year, which finished fourth in the national final. A year later, Siggard sang solo and finished fifth. Was the party over for Kirsten and Soren?. Had "Hot Eyes become merely lukewarm?. No, far from it, the pair were about to attain their best ever result. They swept the Danish final with "Ka' Du Se Hva' Jeg Sa" and took to the stage in Dublin this time as "Kirsten & Soren". This time no gimmick, unless you count Siggard appearing on stage very, very, very heavily pregnant. In a high quality and exciting contest that featured the international bows of both Celine Dion and Lara Fabian, and a general swing back towards ballads, our Danish duo defied the odds with three maximum points and a third-place finish. At this point they went their separate ways, Bundgaard appeared once more on the contest stage a year later as composer (and backup) for the ultra-camp 1989 entry (another third placer) while Siggard sang solo in the 1990 Danish final but failed to place. So here's to the dynamic duo, who understood that Eurovision is first and foremost entertainment. ESC heroes by any yardstick.

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Cyprus Resort To The UK Again

2010-02-08T21:29:00.007Z

Cyprus, land of Aphrodite, goddess of love. A cute little (albeit divided) island slap bang in the bottom-right bit of Europe. Sharing it's popular culture with big brother Greece. What's not to love?. Cyprus debuted in Eurovision in 1981 and effortlessly procured a top six result in Dublin, backed up by placing one higher a year later in Harrogate. Already the Greek cousins were looking up enviously from somewhat lower on the scoreboard.

Over the last thirty years, two facts we know about Cyprus in Eurovision. One, their "douze points" swap with Greece is as predictable as spring following winter. Two, and not unconnected, is that Cypriot and Greek artists in Eurovision are somewhat interchangeable, to put it mildly. While at some point this may have been seen as an issue, in the context of fifty-five years of Eurovision it's hardly unique. French singers swarmed all over Monaco and Luxembourg, artists from ex-Yugoslavia and the ex-Soviet Union plied their trade in their neighbours contests, and Elisabeth Andreassen had finished in the top eight for both Sweden and Norway.

Now we come to the sort of interesting bit. In 1878 Cyprus was ceded to the British Empire and ever since it has retained some British interest. The empire is now dead and gone, but Cyprus, like Malta and Gibraltar remains in the Commonwealth. Cypriot athletes plod along every four years to the Commonwealth Games but they tend to turn up in tracksuits and not be arsed too much. Yet, now and again Cyprus needs a little hand-up from the UK at Eurovision time. In 1984, they chose "Anna Maria Lena" that was composed by no less than two-thirds of Stock Aitken Waterman. They clearly had not yet hit their stride as the song finished 15/19 in Luxembourg City. As luck would have it, twenty-five years later Pete Waterman is lined up to write the UK song.

Fast forward two decades, and after just two more top-six results in the meantime, the Cypriots turned away from decades of Greek rejects and selected rosy faced sixteen year old Lisa Andreas from Gillingham for the historic 2004 contest. Historic because this year the EBU opened the floodgates and opened entries to all and sundry, entailing a semi-final just days before the contest. As ex-pat and neighbour voting started to swamp the contest, Lisa stood tall achieving an outstanding fifth place for Cyprus (whose only reliable vote was Grecian, pre and post 2000).

Andreas' result meant that Cyprus qualified for the 2005 final but, reverting to Greek Cypriots, they languished in 18th place, thus leaving them in the morass of nations attempting to qualify each year via a semi-final. Despite a vain attempt to restore former glories by bringing back serial diva Evridiki in 2007, Cyprus have joined the likes of other long-time entrants Belgium and the Netherlands in having to get used to giving the Saturday final a miss.

2010 sees the Cypriots once more looking to the UK, more specifically Newport, South Wales. Nasos Lambrianides and Melis Konstantinou wrote a song called "Life Looks Better In Spring" for the Cypriot final and looked far and wide for a performer. Wide enough to procure the services of singer/guitarist Jon Lilygreen in Monmouth. Once in Nicosia they cobbled together a Cypriot/UK backing combo, christened them "The Islanders" and hey presto they secured the Cypriot ticket to Oslo 2010. A temporary goodbye to Greek friends as Cyprus bonds once more with the imperial home.

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Eurovision Heroes: #7 Domenico Modugno

2010-01-23T22:18:00.012Z

Time to look at a man for whom the epithet "Eurovision Hero" is far deficient from being remotely worthy. Someone who gave the Eurovision Song Contest it's most famous entry ever. The fact that 99.9 percent of the world aren't aware it's a Eurovision entry makes it all the more delicious. Domenico Modugno was born in Bari, Italy in 1928. After his military service was completed he joined acting school and in 1958 he contested the legendary San Remo Song Festival. This annual event has often been quoted as the inspiration for Eurovision's creation and is still going strong more than five decades later, thirteen years after Italy's Eurovision departure. The song was called "Nel Blu Dipinto Di Blu" and was sent to the third Eurovision Song Contest in Hilversum. It finished a very distant third of ten entries, gaining ten of its thirteen points from Germany and Belgium. So far so good and unremarkable. You may of course know the song far better as "Volare".

In the year after the contest, the song and Domenico Modugno achieved worldwide acclaim, topping the American charts in September 1958, which led to Grammy awards for Song of the Year and Record of the Year. In the UK it made number ten in the same Seotember, but had to give second best to a cover version by Dean Martin which made number two. Volare went on to be covered by more than a hundred professional artists and many more karaoke singers. In a sign that fifty years ago singers didn't jettison Eurovision once they were successful, Modugno went right back to San Remo the next year, and won once more with "Piove (Ciao Ciao Bambina). The song could only achieve equal sixth of eleven in Cannes, yet Modugno's appeal still led to a number twenty-nine hit in the UK just after the contest.

Modugno continued to compete at San Remo, and in 1966 made his third and last foray into Eurovision in Luxembourg City with "Dio, Come Ti Amo". By now the wheels had well and truly come off and the performer of the most famous song produced by Eurovision entered the Nul Points hall of fame. Yet the song was still strong enough to inspire several cover versions, including one by American crooner Jack Jones. Modugno went on to enter politics in the 1980s and passed away in 1994. He will always retain a unique place in Eurovision history.

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Eurovision Heroes: #6 Anna Vissi

2010-01-10T12:48:00.006Z

Time to look back at a superstar whose Eurovision life spanned more than a quarter of a century. One who, although Eurovision success eluded her, has been at the very top of the music scene in her part of the continent for most of that period. Anna Vissi was born in Larnaca, Cyprus in 1957 but at the age of sixteen her family moved to Greece where there was of course much more scope for her budding singing career. In 1978 she was put forward to represent Greece with the song "Kyrios Nobel" but Greek television were apparently unhappy at that time to be represented by a Cypriot and another singer (and song) were chosen instead. Two years later it obviously didn't matter and Anna went to the Hague with the perky "AutoStop", a song about hitchhiking. If that seems a bit gimmicky in this day and age, by the standards of thirty years ago it was relatively understated, and sadly made little impact on the scoreboard finishing 13th of 19.

A year later Anna's native Cyprus joined Eurovision and in 1982 she proudly represented her homeland in Harrogate. This time her song was "Mono I Agapi"
(Only Love) a tender ballad, and fared much better, placing 5th of 18, a result that Cyprus have yet to better. Given that this was the contest dominated by "A Little Peace", the fact that Vissi's song was the second highest scoring ballad suggests that in another year she may have scored even better.

Vissi made two more attempts to qualify for the contest in the 80s (once for Greece and once for Cyprus) but was unsuccessful. The next two decades saw her put Eurovision to one side as she became an ever bigger star in Greece and the Greek diaspora, achieving gold and platinum records as a matter of course and diversifying into fields as different as stage musicals and dance music. In 2005 Helena Paparizou won the fiftieth Eurovision and so the 2006 event would be staged for the first time in Greece. Greek television was now routinely obtaining the services of the country's biggest stars and Vissi more than fitted the bill. After a four song national final, "Everything" was selected and Anna promoted the song around Europe. By the week of the contest she was red-hot favourite to win the contest and delivered a memorable performance in front of an adoring audience, yet it was not to be. Vissi was unfortunate to be drawn to perform immediately before Finland's Lordi and Greece trailed in a disappointing 9th of 24. Three songs for two countries and a true Eurovision diva.

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ESC In The Noughties - A Review

2009-12-28T19:18:00.006Z

Eurovision sailed into the new millennium on a wave of optimism, as the introduction of public voting and then freeing up the language rules had combined to make the contest seem more accessible to the general public. Also to a lesser extent a wave of camp as "Diva" and Take Me To Your Heaven" took the last two contests of the old century. The first contest of the decade saw a series of entries in that style come to grief as a rank outsider from Denmark romped home with a performance full of charm that looked and sounded like the winner from the first bar, on the night. This was the decade that universal internet access meant that all songs could be listened to and weighed-up for months before the contest, yet one thing that we learned in 2000 was that the countless months of speculation counted for little once rehearsals were underway. Another facet of the decades first contest (and often overlooked) was the three ex-Soviet Union entries occupying the next places.

The 2001 contest saw the biggest contest venue yet as a roof was put over Copenhagen's Parken for the contest, a record that may last forever, as many of the 38,000 crowd felt detached from the contest experience and some aspects didn't come across well on television, although a sizeable venue for the contest became absolutely essential in this decade. As singing in English became seen as more and more important, a sizeable number of songs were now being sung partly in native tongue then switching to English (sometimes not too smoothly) for the last part. Another pre-contest outsider took the laurels, although again on the night, the sheer exuberance of the Estonian performance made it stand out.

So began a string of eight consecutive first time winners. Latvia joined its Baltic neighbour in the winners circle a year later by tacking on some killer choreography and slick costume changes on to a very average song and so to the 2003 contest in Riga that was an absolute epic. Tatu, at the time one of the hottest pop acts in the world, were selected for Russia and after working the assembled fans into a chorus of booing with their shenanigans, fought with a Belgian folk song in a made-up language and a slick slice of Turkish delight in by far the tensest voting of the decade. At the other end of the scoreboard Jemini secured the UK's first ever Nul Points and the only 26th place finish in a contest final.

Behind the scenes at the European Broadcasting Union, the conundrum of allowing all willing countries to participate in the contest was coming to a head. Over the previous decade or so countries would have to sit out a year if they finished in the last places the year before or if their points average over a certain period was too low. As more and more countries from the old Eastern bloc demanded a place at the party, the only viable solution was to let everyone submit a song each year and whittle them down by a telivised semi-final a few days before the contest. Thus in Istanbul in 2004, the semi-final became a (seemingly permanent) feature of contest week.

Immune from the semi-finals have been the "Big Four" of France, Germany, Spain and the UK, granted that status due to their financial contributions to the event. As the decade wore on each of the four would see it's fortunes wane to the point where their slots among the very last places on the scoreboard were virtually a given. At the same time, the South-East quadrant of "old" Europe confidently assumed a larger and larger share of the spoils. This was based to a large extent on well-choreographed numbers performed by experienced singers and styles merging the ethnic and the modern. Also it was no longer seen as a must to perform in English. Ukraine, Serbia/Montenegro and Greece stormed both semi and final and Eurovision had entered a whole new era on the banks of the Bosphorus.

In 2005 some of the newcomers couldn't repeat their earlier success but it was still noticeable that behind the Greek winner, the top five consisted of Malta, Romania, Israel and Latvia, as the "old" countries toiled. A year later one of them did take the crown as a mere forty-five years after its debut Finland romped to victory with Lordi, far and away the most hyped contest artists of the decade. Fair play to the Finns but when your act has been on news websites and papers around the globe in the week of the contest you are unlikely to do badly. As the decade ends, Portugal are now by far those waiting longest for a maiden win (forty-six years come next May). Behind the monster-rockers, Russia were a strong second and Bosnia placed third by mopping up the Balkan ethno-vote in the absence of Serbia/Montenegro. This absence was due to partizan voting by Montenegran jurors in the national final.

As the decade moved into its last years, the voting patterns of many countries became too much to ignore. Neighbour voting is almost as old as Eurovision itself, but this was now far exceeded by diaspora (or ex-pat) voting. With all countries voting, including eliminated semi-finalists, the voting chunk of the contest became very long and in many cases very predictable. From 2006 onwards the process was shortened by the spokesperson now just announcing the 8, 10 and 12 whilst other scores merely flashed up on screen. As these top marks were the most predictable ones, the move did little to stem the tide of criticism from disgruntled fans. In a few short years, an exclusive club of countries had become guaranteed a top ten place regardless of their song. It's fair to say that in no particular order Russia, Ukraine Armenia, Turkey, Greece and Serbia were paid-up members. The last named emerged from its union with those pesky Montenegrans with its first solo effort in 2007 and a debut victory, unprecedented in contest history (unless you discount the very first contest of course). "Molitva" was also a contest winner that contained not a word of English, something quite unthinkable as the start of the decade, although it was trumped commercially by runner-up "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" by Verka Serduchka, after Lordi the second biggest hype of the decade.

The furore over voting patterns stirred the EBU into reforming the semi-final process for 2008. Previously there had been one semi, and direct entry to the final for the Big Four and the top ten from the year before. Now the direct entry would only be for the Big Four and host nation, while all the other entries would compete in TWO semis staged on different nights in contest week. Also the allocation of countries in the semis would be based on previous voting patterns. So far so good, and noticeably the Nordic countries seemed to benefit from this. It also further raised the profile of the semi-finals to a point where they were considered an integral part of the contest rather than just a little nuisance to eliminate the chaff. Sadly, come the 2008 contest final, normal service was resumed. Even Sir Terry Wogan had said "enough is enough". It was widely rumoured that from day one it was to be Russia's year and so it proved. The other five members of the ex-pat club all made the top seven with only plucky little Norway splitting them.

So to 2009 and the last contest of the decade, and the EBU made the drastic decision to bring back the juries. Each nations announced votes would be a combination of 50 per cent jury preferences and 50 per cent public voting (with the latter taking precedence in a tie). And, despite the voting process being somewhat dreary because of a runaway winner, it worked!. We popped over to Athens to hear Greece giving 12 points to the United Kingdom, among all manner of other unpredictable delights. That winner of course was "Fairytale", which achieved the highest points total ever. In some media quarters, rather embarrassingly it was proclaimed as "the biggest winner ever" and/or "the most successful Eurovision song ever", which I'm sure is news to Abba, Brotherhood Of Man and all those who won by a landslide in the Sixties. As the decade ends the EBU are bringing 50/50 to the semi-finals, but too late for those nations who wanted to join the party this decade but after constant trouble with the doorman, have given up and gone home with a bottle of wine from the offie. Farewell Andorra, Czech Republic, Montenegro and San Marino, you got a raw deal and we hope to see you back soon.

Still, now is not the time to nitpick. Nul Points favourite country attained its third victory to round off an unforgettable decade for Eurovision. Denmark and Norway topped and tailed eight first time winners. A decade of five winners from the ex-pat club and five from Scandinavia and the Baltics. Not a sniff for the Big Four. The contest went from one night to three, welcomed back the juries and tried to cope with an expanding list of budding entrants. English became a must-have for a while but waned a bit by the decades end. Female presenters shrieked or sang soprano. The UK made a nest at the foot of the scoreboard before Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber and Diane Warren and a convenient voting change gave us a top five result with a now-Sugababe. Predictable as ever. What a decade.

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If Eurovision Really Is The Gay Christmas?

2009-12-21T22:04:00.006Z

Then what are Eurovision fans to do at Yuletide?. In reality, they enjoy Albania choosing their song for next year and bitching about the year gone by, but as it's the time of year for glad tidings and goodwill to all men, a brief ponder on the most festive and Christmassy Eurosongs. Always a subjective area, here is our selection for roasting chestnuts and partying to.

Stad I Ljus - Tommy Korberg (Sweden 1988)

Keine Grenzen - Ich Troje (Poland 2003)

Fur Alle - Wind (Germany 1985)

Un Jour Un Enfant - Frida Boccara (France 1969)

Take Me To Your Heaven - Charlotte Nilsson (Sweden 1999)

Happy Christmas from Nul Points!

Eurovision Heroes: #5 Peter Sue & Marc

2009-12-20T17:52:00.008Z

Time to look back at a group who managed to pack in four Eurovisions in the space of eleven years. Not only that, but they sang in a different language each time. Say Bonjour, Hello, Guten Tag and Ciao to Peter, Sue and Marc.

Peter Reber, born in Berne in 1949 was the songwriter and driving force behind the trio. After graduating from college, in 1970 he decided to put together a trio to appeal to the European pop market. Nowadays a maximum of six performers for each country can be on the Eurovision stage, but four decades ago the named act (discounting the backing singers) could comprise no more than three performers. Reber didn't have to look far for collaborators. Two years earlier in 1968 he had met half-American Sue Schell and her singing buddy Marcel Dietrich and they bonded singing Bob Dylan songs.

Schell, the usual lead vocalist, was born in New York in 1950 of Swiss/American parentage and grew up in Harlem before moving to Berne as a child. A decade or so later she met up with Marcel Dietrich and they performed together for a brief period before being recruited by Reber for his project. The trio paid their dues schlepping around Switzerland in Marcel's Volkswagen Beetle, together with Sue's Belgian sheepdog, whose contribution was such that he briefly became a fourth member. For a brief period they were marketed as "Peter, Sue (hund) Marc".

Their debut on the Euro stage was in the historic 1971 event in Dublin's Gaiety Theatre, a venue so small that the host did all her duties from the balcony, leaving the stage (and it's bizarre backdrop that looked like three enormous condoms) to the artistes. Also the damage limitation contest after the 1970 boycott, with a new scoring system. Our Swiss trio (henceforth PSM) turned up with "Les Illusions De Nos Vingt Ans" and had the misfortune be drawn immediately after the outstanding Monegasque song from Severine (Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue) that ranks as one of the all-time greats of Eurovision. Twelfth place in a field of eighteen was a disappointment, but PSM were far from over.

By 1976 the language rules had been temporarily relaxed as Eurovision was enjoying it's most successful era ever. Abba had led a string of commercially successful songs from the 1974 contest, and Teach-In's "Dinge-Dong" did not disgrace itself a year later. With free language, PSM and of course guiding force Peter Reber plumped for English. They also plumped for a gimmick to sell their song, a painty face clown with a barrel organ, to illustrate the lyrics of their song. If it all sounds and looks a bit bizarre now, don't forget that in Eurovision's early years, puppets, marionettes etc were regular Eurovision themes. Give these guys some slack, they didn't have facebook and twitter then. Sometimes you have to make your own fun. Once more PSM were fated to perform immediately after the outstanding song, this time right after "Save Your Kisses For Me". After the first jury from the UK, PSM were leading the contest. Subsquent votes dropped them down the list but they still finished fourth, just two points behind the third placed Monaco ditty.

Fast forward to 1979 and probably the song that PSM will be remembered for in fifty years time, which is a shame. Yet, as ever, Eurovision is a gimmick fest so Peter Reber and his gang can hardly be criticized for jumping on the bandwagon. To make up their "six performers allowed on stage" quota they recruited a Swiss folk band called Pfuri Gorps & Kniri (that's Pfuri Baldenweg, Anthony Fischer and Kniri Knaus, in case you were wondering). The latter trio found their unique selling point by "playing" household items like dustbin lids, vacuum cleaners and bin bags. This attempt at novelty fell flat on it's face at the contest as PSM were knocked back to mid-table despite maximum marks from their Austrian neighbours.

On, finally to 1981 and having performed in French, English and German, PSM went for the other main Swiss language they hadn't tackled, Italiano (the teeny weeny fourth Swiss national tongue, Romansch, has been performed at the contest just once, in 1989, to no great effect). After the gimmicks of 1976 and 1979 the trio were back to the style of their first Eurosong with a classy ballad that Peter Reber co-wrote with Nella Martinetti (the co-composer of the song that would propel Celine Dion to Swiss victory seven years later) and for much of the voting it seemed that their time might have finally come. In a very even contest, with two countries left to vote, PSM found themselves in a three-way tie for the lead with Germany and the UK. Sadly for them, one of the two countries left was Switzerland, and so as Bucks Fizz edged to a narrow win our heroes sank back to an agonizing fourth place, matching their 1976 result.

And so this plucky trio left the contest, four songs in four different languages and one or two indelibly memorable Eurovision moments.

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Nul Points Review: #5 The Nordic Noughties

2009-12-06T15:31:00.010Z

What a strange but eventful decade for the five Nordic stalwarts of Eurovision: Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden. A decade of the highest highs and the lowest lows, including a fall from grace and a dramatic revival.

As the new millennium began, Sweden were reigning Euro champs after Charlotte Nilsson's retro crowd pleaser "Take Me To Your Heaven" edged out Iceland in the first contest for over twenty years when any language could be used. As in the earlier years, the Nordic nations were enthusiastic and adept at using the English language and all seemed set fair for further success for the most northerly section of the Eurovision family. The Swedes proudly hosted the first contest of the new decade with a huge amount of style, Over the first five contests of the decade the Swedes were a model of competency and consistency, placing each year between fifth and eighth while all around them "old" countries were being slaughtered by cheeky newcomers from the East. A nineteenth place in 2005 was perceived as a blip, especially when 1991 contest winner Carola returned the year after to reclaim a top five place. but sadly the Swedish wheels were now coming off like a defective Volvo Estate. Their annual "Melodifestivalen" remains by far the most elaborate national selection of the whole continent, and a bigger draw to the Swedes than Eurovision itself so they are maybe not too distressed by four of their latest five entries failing to attain the top seventeen. In a confirmation that times really had changed, 1999 winner Ms Nilsson (below) returned to the contest in 2008 (now as Charlotte Perelli) and after scraping into the final on the basis of jury votes came in a whole seventeen places lower than nine years earlier.

While Sweden was celebrating as the old century ended, the Danes were in a major slump. After a stellar period in the Eighties when they lit up the contest year after year with cheesy pop gorgeousness the Nineties were quite disastrous as they were twice relegated and had to miss a contest. Forward to 2000 and the forty-fifth contest in Stockholm when we all thought that Eurodisco-lite still ruled, and so Nicki French and similar offerings from Estonia and the Netherlands were installed as pre-contest favourites. In a delightful upset, Danish national final veterans the Olsen Brothers eased to a convincing win with "Fly On The Wings Of Love", reminding us once more that Eurovision is about more than the fans. Twelve months later the Danes were favourites for a double but fell just short on the home soil of a vast soccer stadium. Another year on and they plummeted to last place and consequent absence from the next contest. The latter part of the decade saw a mini-revival to a mid-table position. In 2008 the EBU decided on two semi-finals with countries seeded to try and diffuse the ex-pat and neighbour voting threatening to kill the contest, and like all the Nordic nations, Denmark seemed to benefit.

For poor old Finland the millennium dawned much as the last one had set. Almost always near the foot of the scoreboard, the opening up of the contest to the Eastern bloc and consequent promotion/relegation system tore shreds in Finlands record as they were reduced to missing every other contest, being absent from the 1995, 1997, 1999, 2001 and 2003 contests due to disastrous results. The dawn of the semi-final system in 2004 and the certainty of always being involved, even if not in the Saturday final, was enough to stir interest in the land of the sauna, and sure enough very soon one of their most successful musical exports had taken the bait. "Monster Rockers" Lordi were of course tailor-made for Eurovision in the new millennium, and their image was broadcast all over the globe before the 2006 contest (including front pages of American news websites), in a great coup for Eurovision to get back in the news. When a Eurovision act gets that much exposure you know that victory is assured and so it was. Once victory was secured, and a fantastic contest staged, Finland fell into thinking that just any old metal act would do (which was not the case) and as the decade ends they're slipping back down the table again.

Iceland joined the Euro party a quarter of a century after their neighbours and had established a moderately successful record when Selma's "All Out Of Luck" was a very close second to Sweden in the last contest of the old century. Rather than a springboard, this was a signal for a slow decline in Icelandic fortunes emphasized by relegation after the 2001 contest. A brief revival a year later was snuffed out by the semi-final system and the onslaught of Eastern European countries and their diaspora. All seemed lost, especially after Selma's disastrous 2005 return, and their stellar 2007 soft-rock epic failed to qualify, but help was at hand. A year later the EBU introduced two, seeded, semi-finals in an attempt to reduce the more pernicious effects of televoting, and suddenly all the Nordic countries had made it to the final, not least Iceland. Their Euro-dance effort rather fizzled out once in the final, but more changes were afoot. In 2009 the rules for the semi stayed the same but for the final the voting was fifty percent by national jury. Iceland delivered the lovely Yohanna with a sweet ballad that many thought too quiet and subtle for Eurovision, yet it not only edged a runners up spot on finals night (a decade after their first), but the later revealed semi-final scores showed that against all odds and with total public voting, Iceland won it's semi. It was indeed
true.

And so at last to Norway, our favourite country of all at Nul Points. They came into the decade bouncing around all over the middle part of the scoreboard without any great triumphs or disasters, however their fortunes became more dramatic as last places in 2001 and 2004 contrasted with fourth place in 2003 and ninth in 2005. By 2008 the top places in the contest scoreboard were threatening to be an endless monopoly of those Eastern and Southern countries with vast armies of ex-pats with apparently limitless mobile phone funds, yet a beefed up Norwegian selection process coupled with a great draw saw them strike a blow for the old countries with a top five result. This turned out to be a mere dress rehearsal for the next contest of course, as with fifty percent jury voting and a killer of a song the country infamous for it's Eurovision failures sailed to it's third victory with (thanks to the recent scoring changes) the highest points total ever. All in all quite a decade for our friends from the North.

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Eurovision Heroes: #4 Katja Ebstein

2009-11-19T21:38:00.008Z

Time to look at the achievements of a quite exceptional and unheralded Eurovision heroine. No less than the only artist in fifty-five years of Eurovision history to achieve a top three position with each of her three entries, and under three completely different voting systems too. None of those entries claimed victory, as each was up against an exceptional Eurosong, yet Katja Ebstein shines brightly in Eurovision history, as her three podium results represent thirty percent of Germany's entire top three placings. Katja Ebstein was born in 1945 in what is now Gniewków, Poland but was then part of Germany. By the end of the sixties she had secured a recording contract with United Artists in Germany and was selected to sing the German Eurovision entry in the 1970 contest in Amsterdam. This was the boycott contest as four countries declined to enter after the four-way tie fiasco in 1969. Katja delivered "Wunder Gibt Es Immer Wieder" with panache, and her misfortune was to be immediately followed on stage by Dana and her "All Kinds Of Everything", which was undeniably a crowd and jury pleaser. Katja still picked up enough favourite votes from the ten person juries to place a solid third, albeit way behind Dana and Mary Hopkin.

By 1971 all had changed in Euroland. The discredited voting system was banished, replaced by two jurors from each country being airlifted to the contest venue and posting points from one to five on camera for each song a la Strictly Come Dancing. Katja was back to defend Germany with the punchy "Diese Welt", maybe the first ever Eurovision entry about saving the planet. The song scored solid votes all round without being anyones favourite and finished again in third place as the contest was won by the sublime "Un Banc, Un Arbre, Une Rue" from Severine.

In 1975 Katja threw her hat into the German Eurovision heat but finished a distant fifth with "Ich Liebe Dich". Five years on she returned to Eurovision for a third and final stab at glory. In the nine years since her last entry, Eurovision had moved on in new and exciting ways. Venues and stages within had expanded from miniscule to quite sizeable (the gargantuan was a still a couple of decades away) and presentation had been completely transformed, from a era when soloists with a couple of lowkey backing singers almost out of the shot were the norm to a time when the "six people on the stage" rule was starting to be exploited with all sorts of visual shenanigans. Ebstein's song was written by the veteran Eurovision songwriting team of Ralph Siegel and Bernd Meinunger who have spent the better part of the last thirty years penning Eurosongs, mostly for Germany. "Theater" was a world away from Katja's two earlier songs with it's cheesy content and presentation, yet once more she effortlessly made the top three, this time second best to "What's Another Year" by Johnny Logan, although the verdict was in doubt right up to the last jury from Belgium.

At this point Ms Ebstein said Auf Wiedersehn to Eurovision, although not to popular success. She went on to starring roles on the German stage in a long list of musical hits including Chicago, Sweet Charity, and Victor Victoria, as well as being a regular on German television performing Andrew Lloyd Webber classics amongst many others. An enduring Eurovision hero that fell just short against tough opposition.

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Nul Points Review: #4 The Decline And Fall Of The UK

2009-10-18T17:07:00.012+01:00

For the first two decades of Eurovision the United Kingdom were rarely out of the top three. Whilst we seldom won, our stack of podium places was the envy of Europe. From the mid seventies, little by little it all began to unravel, to the point where 2009's fifth place is regarded as manna from heaven. So let's go on a journey through time to examine where it all went wrong......

1 The Language Rule

For most of Eurovision history countries were limited to singing in their native tongue, meaning a built in advantage for the UK and Ireland (and Malta when they sent a decent song after their nineties rebirth). Since 1999 songs can be in any language and virtually everyone has since then opted at least once to perform in English, many countries now doing it as a matter of course.

2 Number Of Countries

The UK's record of finishing in the top four every year bar two from 1959 to 1977 was achieved in an era when the number of entrants was on average sixteen to nineteen. Now it is usually twenty-five, most of whom have already proved their appeal (and got an extra plug) in a semi-final a few days before the contest final. The UK, like France, Germany and Spain, always have direct entry to the final. Would they benefit from competing in the semi?. Maybe, but not of course if they were eliminated.

3 Big Names

The UK's golden era in the sixties and early seventies was driven by the BBC selecting an experienced performer and inviting accomplished songwriters to submit songs. In 1976 no more big names could be found and only the brilliance of "Save Your Kisses For Me" and (erm) "Rock Bottom masked the decline that was just around the corner as unproven allcomers were invited to the party. Apart from Bucks Fizz who were a genuinely clever creation, and a couple of quality ballads by male crooners (Scott Fitzgerald and Ray Caruana aka Live Report) the UK had to come to terms with the view from mid-table. It was no coincidence that when the one-singer approach was briefly re-adopted in the early nineties both Michael Ball and Sonia elevated mediocre songs to strong second places.

4 Choosing The Wrong Song

Given that our Eurovision history was largely built upon chirpy ditties, which certainly cut it in 1969, it's maybe no surprise that the good UK public's idea of a "Eurovision song" has remained rooted in the past. Year after year the winner of UK selection could be accurately predicted by any savvy Eurofan. Bad sixties pastiches, anodyne hymns to peace, and then always of course "the bouncy one". This later mutated, no doubt helped by the huge gay Eurovision fanbase, into "the bouncy dance one".

5 Stageing

ITV stage the X-Factor each week in a huge arena. The BBC stage "A Song For Europe/Making Your Mind Up/Eurovision: Your Decision/WTF We've Run Out Of Ideas 2010" in a studio little bigger than a king-size duvet, and often with pre-recorded backing singers. The winning act, often inexperienced, is then catapulted into a huge arena and expected not to make a complete arse of themselves. Some of the the Eastern European countries lately gracing the top end of the scoreboard come with huge props and presentation rehearsed to the Nth degree, while the UK self-consciously slope on and off stage and then wonder why they finished 23rd.

6 Song Type

Dance music usually flops at Eurovision. Even a worldwide smash like "Oooh Aah Just A Little Bit" could't cut it on a Eurovision stage, so what chance for those dance songs vastly inferior. It's somwehat ironic that the very closest of contest observers are well aware that dance music has done sod all at the contest for at least a decade yet the general public hear some camp and some beats per minute and vote for it. The UK public has occasionally gone for something a little bit different. in 1995 and 2006 it was "rap" which fell flat on the arena stage, in 2005 the UK embraced the "ethnic/Shakira" sound with our Javine, only to land in Kiev and find fifteen other countries had the exact same idea.

Conclusion

The three United Kingdom entries to trouble the top five in the last fifteen years have been Katrina's 1997 anthem and the two big ballads from Jessica Garlick and now-Sugarbabe Jade Ewen. All three female led. Let's kick dance, experimental and chirpy into touch and stick to what we're good at. Maestro please ......

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Eurovision Heroes: #3 Chiara Siracusa

2009-09-28T21:57:00.013+01:00

The third of our Eurovision Heroes is a most contemporary one, whose latest of three Eurovision sorties was this very year in Moscow. Chiara Siracusa was born on September 25th 1976 in Malta.

Malta's history at Eurovision has been dramatic to say the least. The little Commonwealth island in the Med doesn't really do mid-table: it's generally been top three glory or dismal failure. They debuted in Dublin in 1971 and their first two entries in the Maltese tongue were major flops, easily finishing last both times, and it's probably fair to say that if the voting system at the time hadn't made it impossible, one or maybe both of those songs would be in our Nul Pointers Hall Of Fame. Hurt by their underwhelming reception at the Euro table, Malta quietly left the contest for nearly two decades (with the exception of a bizarre 1975 offering).

By 1991 the contest had morphed into a different animal, one where English language songs were doing very very well, and middle of the road songs too. Realising that they could call upon English as one of their native tongues and also call upon some considerable reserves of cheesy MOR, Malta were back, and this time it was serious. From 1991 to 1997 Malta finished solidly in the top ten, the highlight a third place by Mary Spiteri in 1992 with "Little Child" in a contest that blatantly showed up the language rule for the nonsense it was as the only English language songs occupied the top three positions.

By 1998 the voting had changed from juries to public voting, but the language rule was in place one last time. Malta came to Birmingham with a sweet ballad sung by Chiara Siracusa. After some weak entries at the start of the running order the Brummie crowd (and the worldwide audience) were treated to the phenomenon of Dana International, swiftly followed next song by the German entry performed by comedy act Guildo Horn. After this randomly paired tour-de-force, and (as departed BBC commentator Sir Terry Wogan anticipated) Chiara took to the stage with the simplest of ballads. Sung In English, with just a few candles for backing, the impact and contrast was enormous.

Sadly for Malta, despite being joint leader with one vote left, Chiara was eventually relegated to third place after a very close voting, the like of which (thanks to the gigantism of the EBU) we may never witness again. She still returned to Malta a heroine.

Seven years later Chiara dipped into Eurovision madness once more. By now this was a very different contest. The clamour from Eastern Europe, led by ex-republics of the Soviet Union and Yugoslavia has turned Eurovision into a contest with a final and a semi, and all forty plus nations voting in the grand final. Thanks to Malta's 2004 result Chiara didn't have to compete in the semi. She was however saddled with an appalling draw in the contest final, yet sailed to a clear second place behind Greece.

Four years on, after a three year results span of "last place/DNQ/DNQ", our diva was called on to rescue Maltese honour. This time of course she did have to negotiate a semi-final and did so with some ease, despite Malta having no obvious neighbour/diaspora to call in predictable votes. For some reason, come the final, it all went a little wrong as Malta trailed in 22nd. The most obvious explanation for this is that the contest final was judged 50/50 by juries and televoting and the juries preferred the ballads of the UK and France. Whatever the reasons, let's hope it's not the last we hear of this lady. Chiara, you are a true Eurovision Hero.

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Nul Points Review: #3 The Legend Of "La La La"

2009-09-20T20:57:00.010+01:00

The winner of the 1968 Eurovision has long been held up to a degree of ridicule. Part of this is down to the fact that even in the long history of "Ding A Dong"s, "Boom Bang A Bang"s and "Diggi Loo Diggi Ley"s, a song whose chorus consists entirely of the word "La" actually winning the whole thing strikes new ground for Euro-cretinity. The other factor of course is that by one point, Massiel denied national treasure Cliff Richard and "Congratulations" the win expected well beyond everyone watching in the UK. After "Volare", the first "standard" produced by Eurovision, struggled home in third ten years earlier, it would have been great kudos for the contest if the second (and some would say last) standard came away with a victory. It would also have meant a second consecutive victory for the UK, a streak that would have been extended to three by Lulu's joint victory in 1969. Scratch the surface though and the maligned ditty has a juicy history.The song was originally to be performed at the Royal Albert Hall contest by one Joan Manuel Serrat, who in a couple of years had become one of the brightest singer-songwriters in Spain. Also a guy with some principles, and who declared he would only go to Eurovision if he could perform the song in Catalan. Spanish TV (and by extension of course General Franco) found this completely unacceptable, and Serrat was dumped just a couple of weeks before the contest. Massiel was airlifted in from a Mexican tour, plastic mini skirt and all. In stark contrast to Massiel's Euro-friendly divaness, Serrat was publically condemned by the fascist regime and was forced to spend much of the next decade in South America. Thankfully his talent was great enough to survive all this and he remains a highly respected artist in Spain and Latin America. Here is his original version. Would it have pipped Cliff?.

The contest voting was a classic in itself. The French entry by 1962 winner Isabelle Aubret streaked away to an early lead before suddenly running out of steam, our Cliff then taking a lead that was solid without being clearcut. Spain was always a few points behind, until the German jury blew the whole thing apart.

For such a supposedly disposable song, "La La La" went on to have a life beyond the contest. A few months after the event, American pop princess Lesley Gore took it into the American Hot 100 (admittedly peaking at a paltry #91) 0 sound only clip below, and, genres away, it was also recorded by Portuguese fado legend Amália Rodrigues. Decades later, possibly more ironic versions were cut by Eurovision stalwart Carola and British pop group St Etienne for the 1998 Eurotrash compilation album.

The story of the 1968 contest took another twist in May 2008 when a documentary by the Spanish film-maker Montse Fernandez Vila alleged that General Franco "bought" votes to ensure victory by sending minions across Europe to offer to buy TV shows and give singers Spanish exposure. Eighteen months on, nothing of substance has been found to support these allegations but it's a great story. So maybe all things considered, this simple song deserves a re-appraisal?.

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Eurovision Heroes: #2 Romuald Figuier

2009-09-13T18:04:00.012+01:00

Looking back in 2009, with male acts winning three of the last four contests, it's easy to forget that male singers, be they solo, in duet or in a group were spurned for many many years in the history of Eurovision. After Udo Jurgens in 1966, twenty-three of the next thirty-three winners were either female soloists or female-led groups. It took the advent of public voting before the men had a level playing field.

The first few years of Eurovision were awash with big traditional ballads, many of them sung in French, and many of them delivered by well scrubbed up blokes in dinner jackets. In 1958 Andre Claveau somewhow pipped 1956 winner Lys Assia even though Lys memorable "Giorgio" was the favourite song of more countries than Andre's ditty, and a finer song than her previous winner. Three years later Jean-Claude Pascal equally trumped the Allison Brothers classic "Are You Sure" to equal public dismay.

As the sixties evolved with Eurovision desperately trying to stay a pace or two behind the ever changing times, one man kept the balladeer flag flying. Romuald Figuier was born in 1941 and his first of three Eurovision forays was in the 1964 contest in Copenhagen, the only contest since 1956 to have not been recorded for posterity as Danish TV lost the video. For virtually their entire Eurovision history, both Monaco and Luxembourg imported both singers and songwriters from other nations for their efforts. Luxembourg scouted all over but Monaco stuck to drilling into the mine of French light-entertainment resources. Romuald went to Denmark with "Ou Sont-Elles Passees?" and obtained a very creditable third place, just two points behind Matt Monro in a year which brought the most dominant winner ever, the epic "Non Ho L'Eta". As Dansk Radio lost the tape this is a sound only link.

Five years later, when romantic male balladeers were even less in fashion, Romuald rolled up at the bonkers 1969 contest in Madrid. This time it was Luxembourg who called for his services and he delivered the very traditional "Catherine". In the infamous scattergun voting dominated by the ladies our Romuald struggled to eleventh of sixteen, although one country thought he was equal best (you guessed, Monaco!).

Another five years later and Romuald was clearly still a Monegasque icon, as he travelled to another classic contest at the Brighton Dome to represent once more the miniscule principality. In terms of hit records this contest stands way above all others by a country mile. The top three songs, "Waterloo", "Go" and "I See A Star", didn't just make the UK chart, they all made the UK TOP TEN!. Behind this classic trio, and just a point behind Mouth and MacNeal lay three songs in equal fourth: "Bye, Bye I Love You" by English-girl-turned-German-schlager-superstar Irene Sheer, "Long Live Love" by someone called Olivia Newton-John (!) and, you guessed, our hero Mr Figuier. "Celui Qui Reste Et Celui Qui S'en Va" is probably his finest Eurovision moment and he was just a few random jury points away from success in the highest profile contest ever. In retrospect maybe Romuald's timing was just very unlucky. The 1978 contest saw second and third places occupied by traditional French language ballads before Johnny Logan changed the image of male soloists at Eurovision forever. But Romuald Figuier will always have a classy place in Eurovision history.

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Nul Points Review: #2 That 1993 Qualifier

2009-09-06T18:13:00.016+01:00

The fall of the iron curtain was probably the most significant event of the last part of the twentieth century, and its impact on the frivolous world of Eurovision was immense. Contest eligibility always depended on being a member of the European Broadcasting Union, which was a consortium of Western European TV stations. At the same time the Eastern bloc had their own equivalent, the International Radio and Television Organisation. From 1956 to 1992, basically any country which had a broadcaster that was part of the the EBU got to enter Eurovision. In 1993 the Western and Eastern organisations merged (quite why it took more than three years after the collapse of the Berlin Wall is lost in the mists of time) and suddenly there was a queue of new countries clamouring for their three minutes of pan-continent exposure on a Saturday night in May.

From 1994 to 2003 the EBU fiddled about with all sorts of options mostly based on promotion and relegation, either based on the previous years result or an arcane "average score" based on the last few contests, as well as an infamous "let's listen to the audio tapes" qualification process in 1996 when Germany's failure to qualify led to the controversial current day "big four" status of the contest moneybag nations. But 1993 was different.

In 1993 the EBU rather condescendingly staged a pre-qualifier for the Eastern upstarts that wanted an immediate place at the main table. Seven countries participated with the top three claiming a place in the biggest ever Eurovision final in Millstreet. The event was staged in Ljubliana and the voting was based on one "music expert" from each country casting votes in the time-honoured 12-10-8 etc style.

After some highly disparate scatter gun voting the three places in the contest final went to the three ex-Yugoslavian competitors, Bosnia, Croatia and Slovenia. The last votes were given by Slovakia, whose expert, in an unprecented and probably unique display of un-tactical voting, effectively ensured they finished fourth and didn't make it to Ireland. Here is the aftermath of the votes.

In the contest final, none of the three distinguished themselves. The wishy-washy Slovenian winner trailed in 22nd and the Croatian hymn to peace finished 15th. The Bosnian entry was in some circles tipped to do very well as it was well documented that the group Fazla had to dodge bullets to catch the plane to Ireland and they got a great reception from the audience. After two rounds of voting Bosnia led the Eurovision scoreboard but their challenge fizzled out as the juries gave the sympathy vote a wide berth and they ended up 16th, one place behind Croatia.

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Eurovision Heroes: #1 Stella Maessen

2009-08-31T17:09:00.012+01:00

Welcome to the first of an occasional series on the Nul Points blog celebrating those artists who truly qualify as Eurovision Heroes. Not the one-off shooting stars who romp to a three hundred point victory, but the artists who have thrown their cap into the Eurovision bearpit, gone home battered and bruised, yet came back once and even twice more and still not found absolute glory. As we here at Nul Points love the Benelux we start with one of the most glamourous Euro veterans.

Stella Maessen was born in Zandvoort in the Netherlands in 1953. Together with her sisters Bianca and Patricia, she sang backup for many singers, before the girls secured their own record deal as an act in their own right. In 1970 The Netherlands, as one of the four-way-tie winners in 1969, offered to host the event in Amsterdam. Stella and her sisters opened the contest for the host country, now calling themselves "Hearts Of Soul", and broke huge new ground. They presented the very first Eurosong of the 1970s, were the first three-girl group and the first black group in the contest. Their song "Waterman" (not a tribute to the prolific 1980s songwriter) was also impossibly groovy and contemporary, so it was no great revelation when the juries opted for the cute safety of Dana and Mary Hopkin.

In 1973 the Maessen family moved from the Netherlands to Belgium and together with Patricia's hubbie they morphed into Dream Express and jumped on the burgeoning disco bandwagon. After some local success they travelled to Wembley and the delayed 1977 Eurovision as hot favourites to win. At this point disco was sweeping the pop charts, and additionally, they had another advantage. Despite four years of Eurovision hits like "Waterloo", "Ding-A-Dong" and of course the daddy of them all, "Save Your Kisses For Me" storming pop charts all over the globe, the European Broadcasting Union in their infinite wisdom decided to close down the languages for 1977. However as the Belgians (and Germans) had already chosen their songs they were exempted. So Dream Express turned up with "A Million In 1, 2, 3", a great song and a great draw. They finished seventh. Looking back now I can only think of two explanations. Firstly they were followed right on stage by France's Marie Myriam whose corker ballad completely stole their Flemish thunder. The other slant of course is that this was just one of many, many occasions from the 1970s to the 2000s when disco-dance just never cut it with Eurovision voters, be they juries or the public. It's still a great track though.

Five years later, Stella was back in the UK, Harrogate this time, and she took the stage at last with solo billing. She dropped the "Maessen" bit, which is understandable as the 1982 trend was for Eurovision acts with as few letters as possible, although apparently she had released the odd single as Stella "Mason". Third time and solo time brought Stella's strongest result, despite sticking with a disco approach. "Si Tu Aimes Ma Musique" brought a very creditable fourth place. What's even more creditable is that, firstly, in a contest dominated by Nicole and her giant guitar, Stella was only four points behind the Israeli runner-up. Even more impressively, Stella garnered points from every single other country, the only song to do so in that contest, and on a surprisingly short all-time list. Not bad for disco. Stella Maessen, we salute you!.

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Why do Eurovision fans hate Latvia?

2009-08-12T20:04:00.011+01:00

Since 1994 the countries behind the old iron curtain have sauntered into the contest one by one, and nobody can say that they haven't had an impact on Eurovision. In that first truly pan-European contest at Dublin's Point Theatre, Estonia and Lithuania occupied the very last two places. Their Soviet Baltic neighbour, Latvia, were to resist the contest for six whole years. By 2000 almost every new country in Eastern Europe had entered and Latvia's belated entry certainly went with a bang. They sent the band Brainstorm, complete with charismatic lead singer Renars Kaupers, and a 90's Britpop song that was quite unlike anything heard at Eurovision before. Against all predictions "My Star" sailed to third place in a contest when some major assumptions about the type of song to excel at the contest were well and truly dispelled (hello Linda, Nicki).

In 2001 this success could not be repeated and the end result meant that Latvia was excluded from the 2002 contest. But Portugal withdrew due to financial problems at their TV station, and as the next country on the list, Latvia took their place, and a remarkable story began. The country handed a lifeline sent an entry very much based on the Latino-lite style popular in pop charts all over the world at the turn of the millennium. So far so pleasant. When Marie N turned up for rehearsals in Tallinn with her stage show of stripping of her "male" outer suit to reveal a sassy skirt, the hysterical reports from the venue suggested a victory, that was confirmed on the night, albeit narrowly ahead of Malta who could only reposte with a pocketful of glitter.

And so Riga replaced Tallinn as the next stag-party nexus to host Eurovision. The host nation sent a pop confection by a manufactured trio that included a singer with arguably the most annoying voice in Eurovision history, so a repeat victory was never
going to happen. The next year, in the first year with semi-finals, Latvia submitted a sweet if unspectacular guitar hymn to peace, and made the top five with ease. At this point they were actually top of our Nul Points All Time Country Rankings.

Then it all started to go wrong (scoreboard wise anyway). Their 2006 entry remains in the history books as the only Eurovision entry to be performed acapella, yet it wasn't the most hummable song in the world (although we love it!) and it flopped badly. For some reason internet fans still find it way too challenging.

In 2007 they joined the pop-opera bandwagon and sailed into the final with an Il-Divo type song sung in Italian, yet once in the final they fell again very badly short, with quite a huge discrepancy between their semi and final scores. The next year, the first with two semis, they advanced with a cheesy pirate song that kind of middled out in the final, then this year they really didn't try too hard at all with a downbeat song that just got lost.

Latvia have now submitted ten Eurovision songs. After all their efforts, they still seem to hold a bizarre place in the disdain of Eurovision fans. Their entries regularly end at the foot of fan polls, without a good word to be said. Now, why could this be?. Some theories:

They have never sent a disco diva (unless we count Marie, who had the nerve to win)
They ignored our beloved contest for six whole years (after Estonia and Lithuania)
They were far too successful far too soon (ref: Portugal)
They send too many male singers (and the fans love the ladies)
They send songs outside the fan's comfort zone (not difficult)

The explanation is probably a mix of some of the above with some other stuff as well, it is certainly true that fans favour female singers and Latvia usually chooses blokes. We love you Latvia!

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Nul Points Review: #1 Butch Eurovision

2009-08-02T18:40:00.013+01:00

Eurovision has long been cast as a campathon, re-inforced by so many artists over the years from fifties innocent trillers to knowing new millennium drama queens. But is there a place at Eurovision for the manly, butch male soloist?

ITALY 1993

Italy were among Eurovision's founder nations, and several of their early entries (most notably "Volare") became international hits. Yet results much poor than they hoped saw them falling all out of love with the contest. This song was just two years after they hosted the contest following the 1990 win, yet they pulled out the next year and apart from a 1997 appearance they have kissed Eurovision goodbye. Ruggeri and his leather clad backing group probably tell us where Italy is going.

LITHUANIA 1994

Seven Eastern countries debuted in 1994 with very mixed results. Poland, Hungary and Russia hugged the top of the scoreboard while Estonia and Lithuania from the Baltics kept the bottom of the scoreboard warm. Estonia's mumsy Silvi Vrait rescued Estonia but Lithuania became only the second debutant to score nul points on their debut. Ovidijus and his pvc pants failed to register any support and Lithuania remain bottom of the nul-points-net league of nations.

MALTA 1995

By 1995 Malta had well and truly announced it's return to the contest after a fifteen year gap. Sixth in 1991, third place in 1992 and fifth in 1994. Astute enough to realize that the language rule afforded them, along with Ireland and the UK the heaven-sent option of singing in English that many other countries would have (at the time) killed for. After some very calculated entries they turned up in Dublin with gruff old Mike and the English language rule ensured another top ten result.

SWEDEN 1980

Maybe not the butchest performance ever but in the cheesefest of the late seventies and early eighties a Eurovision performer striding on stage and kicking the microphone was still something that would upset the grannies. Tomas Ledin toured with Abba and the old rocker is still going strong thirty years later.

IRELAND 1965

You can't really end a piece about butchness in Eurovision without the very first Butch in the contest. The debut of the country that has won seven times!. Watch and enjoy!

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Time For 50/50 In The Semi?

2009-07-27T19:20:00.004+01:00

After the 2009 Eurovision final, fans and public alike reacted with satisfaction at the outcome. Despite the landslide result, the final placings reflected the quality of the songs rather than the weight of ex-pat and neighbour votes unlike at least the four previous contests. It felt very very good. Maybe it's time now to revisit the semi-finals and the voting process there.

In 2008 the EBU introduced two semi-finals rather than one, as ten qualifying from twenty-eight (as in 2007) was a big ask. More importantly everyone was mortified when the list of qualifiers was announced and it correlated perfectly with those countries with the largest ex-pat votes. So in 2008 we had a system with only five direct qualfiers (the infamous "Big Four" and the host nation). Everyone else was carved up into two semis based upon geography and voting patterns. The general consensus is that this has been "a good thing". But maybe not perfect.

The most remarkable story from the 2009 semis was that pretty much the same countries qualified as the year before. With 100% televoting, even two well meaning semi-finals is going to mean reduced neighbour/ex-pat voting and not a complete reduction. One phenomenon that has bounced back is the old Scandi pals act. Never strong enough to fight the ex-Yugos and ex-Soviets under the old system, the new format has given them a new lease of life.

Dig a bit deeper into the semi results since their inception in 2004 and something else is perfectly clear. One of the main arguments against 100% televoting is that people vote without hearing every song and thus draw order takes on ridiculous importance. In 2009 after years of reality/casting show evidence this is unarguable. In a low key mid-week semi, possibly shoved on to a minority channel (hello BBC3) that is going to be even more of an issue.

Without a decent draw and a few friends many countries are doomed not to reach a final. Austria, Monaco, San Marino and now the Czech Republic have given up the ghost. Andorra plod along just happy to take part (only coming within a mountain range of the final in 2007. It it's any consolation it's a fair bet that the fate of their song that year (below) and the outrage at it's non-qualification played a significant part in bringing in the two semis.

Switzerland, the home of the contest, are regular pre-contest fan favourites but their lack of friends has brought an oh-too familiar letdown in the semi-final result (and they can't all be attributed to poor vocals, usually the last resort of the televoting die-hards). Ireland, the country that used to think itself the contest's home needed the sensational Brian Kennedy in 2006 to give them a rare new millennium boost from DNQ misery. Cyprus, never the home of anything Eurovision but the Greek 12 points, has struggled since a soppy ballad in 2004, even with fan favourite Evridiki coming back.

As for poor old Belgium and the Netherlands, it is surely a crying shame that two such enthusiastic Eurovision stalwarts have been more noteable for the hijacking of their votes by their Turkish and Armenian immigrants than the record of their own entries. The Belgians have tried everything from nonsense nursery rhymes to Elvis satire acts to Europop divas with each time a big fat kick in the teeth right back at them. The Dutch have been more mainstream, and while the non-qualification of some camp nonsense this year (even with a perfect draw) might be the exception that proves the rule, this great Eurovision country's absence from the last five finals (and the fact the latest Dutch final "moment" was Paul de Leeuw sparring with Sakis Rouvas) is a travesty.

So should 50/50 be brought in for the semis too?.

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Adios Czech Republic

2009-07-24T20:15:00.005+01:00

This week saw the Czech Republic deciding to pull out of the Eurovision Song Contest after just three attempts, each ending in quite abject semi-final scoreboard failure. 2007: 1 point..... 2008: 9 points .... 2009: 0 points....

The Czechs always stood out like an stubborn child in their refusal to embrace Eurovision. Every country in Western Europe (discounting the Vatican State... what an idea that would be!, the Faroe Islands and Liechtenstein) has had a crack at Eurovision and in 1993 the doors were opened to the old Warsaw Pact countries. Seven of them took up the cudgel right away and over the next couple of years the rest were just gagging to join the Eurovision party, and did so with mixed results. All this time the Czech Republic, one of the great cultural mainstays of middle Europe, had not the slightest interest in the contest, and it was not until 2007, a whole FOURTEEN years after their first opportunity, that they entered Eurovision.

As a new country, they had to enter the semi-final with only the top ten qualifying for the Eurovision final. They joined Eurovision with a downbeat metal entry and nobody was surprised when it didn't make it. The qualifying was exceptionally tough with ten of twenty-eight qualifying. In 2008 there were two semis, drawn specifically to counter neighbour/ex-pat voting, and twenty rather than ten places were available in the final. The Czechs sent a Britney clone with a run-of-the-mill song that was like many others that year. It fared badly but in all honesty that can be attributed to a poor draw and a lack of friendly votes. In 2009 the Czechs were blessed with both an abysmal draw and a very left-field entry, that posted it's colours under the banner of "gypsy rap". It went on to become the second nul-pointer in semi-final history after Switzerland 2004.

So, after ten points in three semi-finals the Czechs have decided to quit. No great surprise. Their resolute reluctance to join the party made it clear it wasn't considered a national cultural necessity as it has been in so many of the old Eastern bloc, particularly the republics of the former Soviet Union and Yugoslavia. At the end of the day, the Czech Republic didn't NEED Eurovision like so many others did. Good for them.

Goodnight Prague

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2009 Final: Reflections On A Classic Night

2009-05-18T18:46:00.006+01:00

Wow, what an amazing Eurovision.

Yep, really. I think it's probably six years since a contest left us enthralled rather than hacked off. Some of us never thought we'd see such a day ever again and were preparing more with each passing year to write an obituary for the song contest. The catalyst of course was the decision of the organizers to introduce 50/50 voting this year where each countries vote was based half on public voting and half on a panel of music experts. The fact that in a tie, the public vote in each country would take precedence led a lot of us to assume that the end result wouldn't be that different. Weren't we so wrong!.

Saturday's voting was an utter delight. Countries voted for other countries who in many cases had never received anything from them ever. Ex-Soviet and Ex-Yugoslav countries actually cast big votes for countries outside their immediate back yard.

The downside from an entertainment point of view was that Norway's victory was pretty much assured very very early, yet that had more to do with the length of the voting process and the insistence still that everyone (finalist or not) gets to vote, and the utter superiority of "Fairytale" over everything else. Another contest with total televoting would no doubt have been closer, with the likes of Turkey, Greece, Armenia and Ukraine pushing Norway, but better a fair result than an orgy of ex-pat cheating like the last five years. It was utterly wonderful to see both Greece and Ukraine fall on their arse after their arrogant singers and ridiculous props, let's hope as Graham Norton proclaimed that this a permanent return to a SONG contest.

A quick look back at results versus predictions:

1. Norway 387 (we said 4: we of little faith - see above)
2. Iceland 218 (11: we thought too gentle but happy to be wrong)
3. Azerbaijan 207 (8: we thought to poppy but happy to be wrong)
4. Turkey 177 (3: still did better than it should have)
5. UK 173 (9: we thought too weak a song.... etc... you get the jist)
6. Estonia 129 (20: honestly gobsmacked at this result)
7. Greece 120 (2: Give up Sakis, you're old and you've been rumbled)
8. France 107 (12: Great result for a classy lady)
9. Bosnia-Herzegovina 106 (7: Near enough :o)
10. Armenia 92 (5: Armenia get their worst result with their best song)
11. Russia 91 (6: like Armenia, shifted down by the juries, hurrah!)
12. Ukraine 76 (1: Mega-Hurrah! this pile of poo got the result it deserved, now go away!)
13. Denmark 74 (15: Near enough)
14. Moldova 69 (14: Spot on, miraculously)
15. Portugal 57 (13: Near enough, didn't understand the fan hype over this)
16. Israel 53 (18: Near enough)
17. Albania 48 (25: OK it was catchy but still happy with the result)
18. Croatia 45 (24: Lack of other ex-YU to vote for the only reason this elevator music was elevated)
19. Romania 40 (19: Spot on, see Moldova!)
20. Germany 35 (16: In a pool of averageness we were a little wrong)
21. Sweden 33 (17: see Germany)
22. Malta 31 (10: Chiara sang so much better in the semi and this was her weakest song)
23. Lithuania 23 (21: We knew this piece of class would be forgotten, still a great tune)
24. Spain 23 (22: Serves them right for going Turkish)
25. Finland 22 (23: The semi-final jury chose this! FFS!)

As for the UK, we were mightily critical about the UK selection show as Jade, bless her, was parachuted in and the UK public were brainwashed to vote for her in an appalling set of events, yet credit where it's due, she recovered spectacularly from an early on-stage collision (see the video below) to deliver a stonking show and a top five result like manna from heaven for the UK. Whether she'll ever be heard of again is another issue.

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Nul Points Net 2009 Final Predictions

2009-05-16T00:37:00.004+01:00

Ok, as Eurovision day 2009 dawns, time to put our heads on the block and attempt to predict the final result. This is emphatically NOT a wishlist or list of favourites. Our favourites invariably fare very badly. At least this year Sasha Son and his divine Lithuanian song have made the final but are doomed by the draw.

This is based on recent history, rehearsal reports and the fact that ex-pats and neighbours (and indeed draw order) will still play a huge part in determining the votes. Key overlooked fact of the 2009 voting: if a countries televote and jury vote produce an overall tie, the televote will take precedence... so it's really not 50/50 after all.

So here we go with the final prediction:

01 Ukraine
02 Greece
03 Turkey
04 Norway
05 Armenia
06 Russia
07 Bosnia-Herz.
08 Azerbaijan
09 United Kingdom
10 Malta
11 Iceland
12 France
13 Portugal
14 Moldova
15 Denmark
16 Germany
17 Sweden
18 Israel
19 Romania
20 Estonia
21 Lithuania
22 Spain
23 Finland
24 Croatia
25 Albania

Good luck to everyone and let's hope for a great show!

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Semi Two Reflections

2009-05-15T21:08:00.004+01:00

Well it's Friday and the night before the biggest event of the year for many of us Eurofreaks. First of all a brief look back at last night's second semi.

The overriding reaction in may places on the interwebby was "Eastern Europe bloc voting again, sigh", especially in Ireland where of course their position as seven times winner is year-on-year thrown into starker contrast by their recent dire results. They had a point of sorts. The semi-finals are split by a draw that attempts to break up voting blocs but the process is very much based on neighbour voting rather than ex-pats. The semis are still however 100% televoting (except in Spain this year, when after requesting to switch which semi-final they had to show, TVE decided last night to stay with a Madrid Open tennis match meaning their Eurovision broadcast was delayed, and they abandoned their televote: some Spanish knuckles will be rapped by the EBU).

This means that even with a split of nations there will still be some automatic votes based on diaspora and neighbours. Also, as with the first semi the songs at the end of the draw did much much better than those at the start, this skewing is way more pronounced than in a contest final, which let's face it is an event that people are going to sit down and watch from the start, unlike a lower-profile semi-final.

The end result is that (Serbia apart), pretty much the usual suspects have made it through to the final. The downside of course is that a whole host of countries will no doubt feel even more disenfranchised from the whole process:

Andorra have now taken part in six semi-finals, without a sniff of a final place. Montenegro have had three goes. The Czech Republic were for ages the last country in Europe to resist the charms of Eurovision and after three DNQs you can see they might think they were right all along.

On top of this there's a string of long standing entrants who now, barring luck of the draw, may never see the Eurovision final again:

Belgium, Cyprus, Ireland, Netherlands, Switzerland. Fourteen victories between them. Austria and Monaco (one each) already gave up the ghost. Who will be next to leave?

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Last Predictions Semi Two

2009-05-14T19:16:00.004+01:00

Righty ho, here's who we think will qualify from semi two:

Serbia: with televoting they'd qualify with a cat farting for three minutes
Norway: the earth would flip on it's axis if this missed out Y
Denmark: radio-friendly but a marginal qualifier Y
Azerbaijan: poppytastic and diasporatastic too - how can it fail? Y
Greece: see Serbia Y
Lithuania: utter gorgeousness that surely must make the final (mustn't it?) Y
Moldova: chanty/ethnic enough to scrape through Y
Albania: draw and ex-pats just enough Y
Ukraine: overblown gimmickss and neighbours mean an undeserved shoe-in Y
Estonia: draw will squeeze it through Y

Hope we're wrong on some of these from a preference point of view, but we'll see!

Results: we got 9/10.. absolutely thrilled that the Serbian machine has now got too complacent for it's own good and has been shot down in very deserved flames... otherwise, we're thrilled for Lithuania, bring on the final..

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They Shall Not Pass: Semi One Reflections

2009-05-13T19:06:00.010+01:00

So the serious stuff and of course the fun has begun. On Tuesday eighteen countries took part in the first semi-final of 2009 and ten made it to the final. The show was a curate's egg. Great postcards and stage backdrop, horrendous unrehearsed hosts and some lacklustre sound and camera shots.

The most striking thing about the results (and of course we don't know yet the full breakdown of scores and who got the tenth place chosen by juries) is that all nine of the countries participating who qualified from their semi last year did the very same this year, and all those who failed last year failed this time too. An utter coincidence? Maybe not.

The two semi-final scenario, splitting countries into pots, was brought in after the notorious 2007 semi-final when all ten qualifiers were from Eastern Europe, and was intended to curb the worst excesses of neighbour/ex-pat voting. After last year, it appeared to be a success as more Western countries qualified, yet last night shows that it is still far from a perfect system.

As fewer points are needed to qualify, smaller alliances and diaspora have the desired effect. While the full scores won't be released until the weekend, it's a safe bet that like last year the Scandinavian love-in gave each of its songs a shoe-in to the final, and the likes of Armenia and Turkey have such a huge ex-pat pool tha even diluted it is more than enough. Does anyone seriously think that if the startlingly bad Hadise was singing for her adopted Belgium rather than her native Turkey, she would NOT have been packing her bags today for home?

Once more there was a huge bias towards the latter half of performance order. Eight of the last ten songs qualified, six of the first eight did not. Hardly surprising in a midweek semi-final when the majority of viewers tune-in part way through.

It's quite clear that the Eurovision final is an impossible dream for many countries unless they chance on a late, late draw: effectively the countries without ex-pats or neighbours. Sounds familiar? This is the third, vain attempt of both the Czech Republic and Montenegro to make the final, and the sixth of poor old, naive Andorra (below). Monaco and Austria gave up the ghost a couple of years ago and you have to wonder about Switzerland, the country who gave us all this great contest before most of us were even born.

50/50 public/juries for the semi-finals? Sounds good to me.

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Last Predictions Semi One

2009-05-11T20:15:00.008+01:00

Well here we are ready for the first semi and time as in previous years for Nul Points to place it's virtual neck on the line. Before rehearsals commenced we predicted (in draw order):

Sweden - Armenia - Switzerland - Turkey - Israel - FYR Macedonia - Romania - Finland - Malta - Bosnia

After a week and a bit of blogs from rehearsals, do we want to stick or twist?

Well just one... we'll bring in Belarus and we'll kick out Switzerland (even though we love it dearly, at the end of the day they are too damn rich to have any minging ex-pats!) ... so the Nul Points prediction for Semi One is (da da!)

Belarus - rocky gorgeousness that's not TOO scary
Sweden - they always qualify (don't they)? Y
Armenia - best dance and a possible final winner Y

Turkey - shouty horribleness but it's Turkey and it's televoting Y
Israel - cute combo will catch the imagination Y
FYR Macedonia - will qualify because it's Macedonia
Romania - full-on fun that will score high in the final Y
Finland - too clubby to do "that" well but will scrape through, maybe last in the final Y
Malta - this woman can do little wrong at Eurovision even with her weakest song Y
Bosnia - will walk this weaker semi-final without breaking sweat Y

EDIT: we got wrong: Portugal! Iceland! we're happy though to only have 8/10!...

Tune in Wednesday for us admitting being totally wrong! xx

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The Circus Is In Town!

2009-05-03T18:55:00.003+01:00

Well, after months of national selections, endless "new" versions and artists trolling across the continent, the circus has begun with the first day of rehearsals in Moscow. Yes that's nine whole days before the first semi-final. Some things are much the same as usual. The fans masquerading as "journalists" are already sending breathless minute-by-minute analysis of every last gesture from the rehearsal stage, and tweaking their all-important predictions every five minutes (although to be fair, their reports taken en bloc are usually a good guide to what will and won't work on stage). Some things are different, though. Less than a fortnight before the contest, Russian TV are still to confirm the identity of the contest hosts!.

After a bit of last-minute hysteria about swine-flu, the Eurovision family is indeed convening in the Russian capital for the fifty-fourth contest, and that's something to celebrate. With 50 percent jury voting, hopes are high that the unsavoury voting patterns of the last few years will be at the very least curtailed. In the UK, a concerted effort from the BBC really has lent a "now or never" angle to the UK's Eurovision participation. Are you excited yet? We are.....

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When 50-50 doesn't mean half and half

2009-03-30T19:27:00.007+01:00

After several years when the top end of the Eurovision scoreboard has been distorted by armies of ex-pats voting for the homeland (and by neighbours, to a much less extent), the European Broadcasting Union has brought in a change to voting for the 2009 final. After continually repeating the mantra that 100% public voting was ultimate democracy, the EBU were persuaded to introduce change after several of the highest financial contributing Western European countries threatened revolt unless this skewing of the democratic process was not in some way reined in. Thousands of people aren't just voting for their homeland, they're voting as many times as they can in the voting window, often with SIM cards paid by the homeland TV station.

Thus, over the last few years a snug (and indeed smug) little group of supernations have grown, who are guaranteed a top ten result regardless of their entry, be it a pop masterpiece or three minutes of a cat farting.

Say Hello... Armenia, Greece, Russia, Serbia, Turkey and Ukraine... and on just one years evidence, Azerbaijan...

For 2009 the EBU have with great fanfare announced the voting in the Eurovision final will be "50-50" with televoting given equal weight to jury voting. So we are being led to believe that the influence of this sextet will be utterly diminished. Don't believe a word of it.

Each national jury will be composed of five alleged "music experts" and there is no rule that would exclude experts born somewhere else.

The composite vote will not be comprised of each countries public vote from 1st to 25th being compared top to bottom with each countries jury vote from 1st to 25th. If it was, the worst excesses of both could be eliminated but that's a step too far for the EBU. So, the top ten on both sides will be converted to 12-10-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 points and any song 11th on both sides will be screwed. Then those points will be combined to give the final 12-10-8 etc.

Now for the clincher. If there is a tie at this point, and any basic arithmetician could assure you, there are bound to be dozens, the ties will be broken by the televote having more weight.

Think about this. All those countries in the Smug Six who got a string of guaranteed twelves from their expats, they will still get a 12 from each national televote as before, and unless (a) they completely bomb with the same national jury, or (b) several other songs beat it in the same national jury vote AND come close in the same national televote, those Smug Six will surely still get a 12 or 10 from their ex-pat country.

The internet is awash with hope that the change to 50-50 will mean that the likes of Norway, France or (perish the thought) the UK will suddenly be empowered to overcome the Smug Six (or Azerbaijan). What complete folly. The only time this axis have been beaten in the recent past is of course Finland's Lordi in 2006. This is the same Lordi who featured on front pages of newspapers across the world (including the New York Times) in the week before the contest and were winners before the first note was sung. Unless, miraculously, Alex, Pat or Jade manage a similar trick, don't look beyond the usual suspects for victory in Moscow.

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Victory For Norway?... the early betting

2009-02-27T23:53:00.019Z

Despite the fact that only two-thirds of the 2009 entries have been selected, many major bookmakers have already listed prices for the contest in May, which is quite unprecedented. The cynical reaction to this might be that in these dire financial times, the earlier they can open a market, the more money they will pull in. They also may be enthused by the new voting system (with half each national vote being delivered by a small panel of experts). It's also quite possible that in the UK, bookmakers interest has been sparked by the high profile UK selection process and the positive feedback the UK entry has generally received thus far.

The first interesting thing is how the bookies have judged the countries yet to choose their songs. Once upon a time, the countries with unchosen entries would have been lumped together at 50-1 or 100-1, yet of course these days the bookies are savvy to the realities of Eurovision in the twenty-first century where a handful of countries have a guaranteed top ten place based on their ex-patriots and, to a lesser extent, neighbours (while the voting modification this year has reduced that impact, it will still be a major factor: if, say, the German public vote is topped by Turkey, even if the German jury place Turkey last it's still likely that Germany will award at least eight points to Turkey).

Thus Russia, Serbia and Ukraine are high on the bookmakers lists even before their songs are chosen, as are Turkey and Greece (who have selected their ditty). The alarming discrepancy in the early odds is Armenia. Maybe this is because they have only been around in Eurovision for four years and haven't made the top three, but under the pre-2009 voting rules they actually could count on more douzes than anyone else thanks to devoted ex-pats and an aggressive campaign by their TV company. If they remain a rank outsider in the betting lists and a top three (or top five) market opens, jump on them!.... you won't regret it.

The other notable aspect of the early betting is the remarkably short odds on Nul Points Net's favourite country, Norway!. Now it's undeniable that their 2009 entry ticks all the boxes. If you haven't yet given it a listen, it's an Olsen Brothers type, agelessly catchy song, performed by Alexander Rybak, a David Platt lookalike who leaps about the stage with a violin and sings at the same time!. He apparently has Belarussian parentage and the song sounds not a little like an entry from an ex-Soviet republic (only it's got a melody).

While the Norwegian entry hits all the right buttons, it's quite crazy to see it at the incredibly short prices listed. Even if you love it, keep your money and watch the markets. In 2006 the Greek entry by Anna Vissi was maybe the only other entry at such a short price (for a period) and that all unravelled quite spectacularly. Norway 2009 has a better song and it will do well, but don't go splashing any pennies or euros on it right now!.

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Your Country Needs You: BBC Response To Complaint

2009-02-13T18:33:00.007Z

Received today, a response to a complaint to the BBC about "Eurovision: Your Country Needs You". The initial complaint was made on the basis that the show contravened two sections of the BBC Code of Conduct for Competitions and Voting:

"When the public engages with us through interactivity they will be treated with respect, honesty and fairness"

"winners of competitions and votes are genuine and never invented, pre-chosen or planted by the production team. Every entry should have a fair chance of winning"

This was the response of the BBC:

We note your concerns regarding the final of 'Your Country Needs You' on 31 January and your concerns over Jade being announced as the winner. We would like to assure you that Jade did not come into the selection process late.

In the first programme of the series, we clearly stated that a casting team had scoured the UK for top talent as well as asking people to submit performances online.

Jade came on board well before the closing date and went through the same audition process as her fellow contenders. She became a finalist after Andrew and his team finally took the decision not to include other acts which had also been followed closely with the cameras.

Although Andrew and guests did praise Jade throughout the series, there were many positive comments directed to all the acts.

In addition to this, none of their feedback prevented Jade from being in the bottom two in the semi final. The result in both cases was completely down to the public vote.

All our votes were verified by an independent adjudicator. We hope this reassures you on the validity of her selection. Please be assured, however, that we have registered your comments on our audience log. This is the internal report of audience feedback which we compile daily for all programme makers and commissioning executives within the BBC, and also their senior management. It ensures that your points, and all other comments we receive, are circulated and considered across the BBC.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to contact us.

Regards

BBC Complaints

It seems quite remarkable that Jade apparently auditioned from the start, but neither her apparent (latterly discovered) talent, charisma and tragic-parent-story were at the time deemed worthy of any coverage. Pull the other one BBC, you've fooled no-one.

Any comments?

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Sir Andrew Gets His Wish

2009-02-01T17:24:00.002Z

Imagine the X Factor. First week of the live shows. Twelve acts who've come through the sift, the first and second audition, the "boot camp" and the visit to the judges homes and jumped over every hurdle. Then Simon Cowell brings in a protege of his to join the finalists. The entire panel then spend every week telling the British public that the protege is the only one to vote for. As the final show approaches, Simon is scared that his protege won't be the winner so chooses songs for all the other finalists that are completely wrong for them while choosing flattering songs and arrangements for his protege. He then goes in the papers the day before the final, both planting a huge sob story for his protege and implicitly bad-mouthing the other finalists.

Imagine the outcry from one and all if this happened on X-Factor. Yet the BBC thought it was just fine for the Saturday show to select the 2009 UK singer for Eurovision. Well..... it's only Eurovision isn't it?...

In an amusing footnote, Sir ALW has now said that he's so ecstatic with Jade's victory that he will "play piano" on stage for her. It's unlikely that he has found out about the long slog of rehearsals and press conferences that Eurovision fortnight entails.

It may also be that he hasn't yet discovered that nowadays all instruments on the Eurovision stage are mimed. Though after shafting every single person who auditioned for "Your Country Needs You", I'm sure that fakery will be no problem at all.

Sir Andrew In Panic Mode

2009-01-30T21:42:00.012Z

Well, after a month of all sorts of shenanigans we are all set for the final of "Your Country Needs You", the BBC Saturday night show to select a singer to represent the United Kingdom in the fifty-fourth Eurovision Song Contest in Moscow on May 16th 2009. Unless you've been on Mars or in a Russian salt mine for the last month, you'll be aware that the UK entry is being composed by the stellar combination of American uber-songwriter Diane Warren and British musical theatre legend Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. Also that Sir ALW so far has had almost total control over who is going to perform his song on the Russian stage. He selected five of the final six from a tortuous process of auditions and then added in Jade Ewen as a ringer at the last minute.

As the weeks have progressed, three acts have been eliminated leaving a final featuring three acts: Welsh farm boy Mark, Yorkshire checkout twins Nicola & Francine and Plaistow diva Jade. Even a casual observer would have clearly seen that Jade was being engineered to win by every means possible since the very first episode. Camera angle, song choice, draw order, editing, panel comments (from both Sir ALW and the ever more hysterical Lulu) have been blatantly orchestrated for Jade (that's right, the one who didn't even have to audition).

Then, last week, shock-horror! Jade was in the bottom two of four! And she would face the decision of Sir ALW versus soul oldies group Emperors Of Soul!.. safe to say the nation did not collapse with shock when Sir ALW chose Jade to survive.

It's actually a great credit on the UK public that they appeared to see right through the BBC bias, yet Sir Andrew and the Beeb aren't finished. To fill the gaps between acts and costume changes in a live final, the BBC have filmed Sir ALW making home visits to each finalist. He went to Yorkshire to see The Twins, he discussed the price of sheep with Mark's dad in Denbigh and...... he met Jade's parents. Cue drum roll and violins and cue this pathetic last minute attempt to hijack the vote:

And on the Friday night before the final we get this perfectly-timed BBC press release

Also comments like "people in Sheffield and Cardiff shouldn't vote for their local favourites" - no mention of London (!). And that's before the show has even started. What a total, utterly dishonest shambles!

By the time you read this, Mark or The Twins may just have won the ticket to Moscow, against all expectations (even those of the bookies, who mysteriously still make Jade favourite even though she was third or fourth last week!). If not, then we will have just witnessed yet another BBC light entertainment fiasco.

Click here to complain

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BBC Bias Off The Scale - See This Picture

2009-01-18T15:30:00.012Z

Well, half way through the four live shows in the 2009 selection process we can see where the BBC want to go, and just who they want us to choose. And of course it is the candidate who was introduced in the last five minutes of the opening show, Jade Ewen. The second live show went even further in brazenly promoting her than last week giving her more camera shots in the multi-artist performances than practically everyone else put together, and even a extra shot backstage during some panel talk, just to reinforce the message of who we should vote for. While they couldn't pull the trick of placing her last in the running order again, she was positioned either side of the two acts criticized by the panel (and the subsequent bottom two). This blogger was duly impressed by Jade last week when she seemed streets ahead of the competition but after the second show the BBC's faith seems misplaced. Sure she didn't miss a note but her voice lacks the depth required for a big ballad, and is just too plain and dare I say boring. A new Leona or Alexandra she most certainly ain't. And surely a big ballad is the only way to go in Moscow?.

Among the others Charlotte improved but it was indeed time for her to go and the Emperors Of Soul will surely last just another week. This leaves The Twins and Mark Evans. Nicola and Francine are mysteriously loved by the panel and turned in a competent enough performance this week but their constant lack of confidence would surely tempt disaster in the huge arena in May. That leaves Mark who, despite a rather odd song choice, shone through vocally although will need to improve the presentation if he gets the ticket.

UPDATE: 22 January 2008

The BBC have published a promo pic for this week's episode that is being featured on their own home page. Just one glance will tell you where they want your votes to go... Jade is in front of Mark and The Twins, who are each in front of Emperors Of Soul. Quite breathtaking.

The whole packaged show has been great fun, but what's worrying is that the BBC's own website is still admitting as of today that the voting format for the final still hasn't been decided, so we still can't be sure that the public's choice will override Sir Andrew's, although after recent voting debacles the BBC surely wouldn't risk another debacle.... would they?.

If you think it's all a fix, then click here

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Songwriter Protests Are Out Of Tune

2009-01-13T21:54:00.007Z

However fascinated or bemused UK Eurovisions fans are by "Your Country Needs You", pretty much all of us were gobsmacked when Sir Andrew Lloyd-Webber announced that his Eurovision song would be co-penned by the legendary Diane Warren. The multi-award inning American has won countless awards and sold millions of records with pop classics like "Because You Loved Me", "How Do I Live" and "Unbreak My Heart". However it wasn't long before the cries of complaint that Ms Warren wasn't British. Tony Hiller, composer of "Save Your Kisses For Me" is not happy, neither someone called Simon Warner who is apparently a "senior teaching fellow of popular music".

Well it might come as a surprise to them but there are no rules about this any more and any country can send a song written by a writer from anywhere. Admittedly some countries have their own rules about nationality but that is down to each country's TV station autonomously. Many countries national finals each year routuinely feature songwriters or even artists from other nations. Let's not forget that the last UK Eurovision victory was supplied by an American singer and the last time we hosted the event the comperes were an Irishman and a Swede.

The outrage of these people would also carry a little bit more weight if they, or the "Great British" songwriters they champion, had actually bothered to submit a song for the contest in the last dire decade for the UK.

12-16-15-3-26-16-22-19-23-25. No, not this weeks lottery numbers but the sad trail of UK finishing positions in the last ten years of the contest. So much for British songwriting talent.

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UK 09 Gets Off To Shaky Start

2009-01-04T18:28:00.007Z

Well after all the hype and anticipation the first episode of "Your Country Needs You" has aired. If you've been down a cave for the last few weeks this is the BBC "taking Eurovision more seriously" by (a) employing Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber to pen the song and (b) selecting the performer by means of a multi-week reality show that conveniently plugs the Saturday night BBC1 reality show gap for a few weeks. The rather dreadful history of unproved performers on the Eurovision stage, be they British, Spanish or Outer Mongolian has clearly passed the BBC by as have the ghosts of Lindsay Dracass and Jemini.

Well Saturday brought the first episode and half the show was padded out with ALW and Graham Norton going to Moscow, meeting UK ambassadors (anyone spot the Ferrero Rochers?) and pretending to agonize over why the UK had done so badly the last few years. The most surreal moment was when the question was addressed to a German. It had clearly bypassed the production team that both Germany and France have done no better than the UK recently (despite some major investment by the Germans). No-one was brave enough to voice the simple truth that the UKs lack of expats dispersing all over Europe was the main reason why we keep getting shafted.

And so on to the talent search. The show, in a rather poor-mans X Factor style, followed a few selected acts on the their journey through various stages of audition. Yet the final six selected were still quite puzzling based on what we were shown. A quite charismatic male singer was ditched for a dull choirboy type and pretty much the same happened on the female solo side too as a nice middle-class entrant was chosen above candidates clearly more talented. The black vocal group and the piano guy are worthy finalists but the bimbo twins are a disaster waiting to happen.

All this was capped though by the last minute parachuting in of someone who had not had to jump over any of these hurdles. After all the BBC reality show fiascos in 2008, most recently the Strictly Come Dancing voting just a month ago it truly defies belief that the BBC have again pulled a fast one and stuck a big two fingers up to viewers and more importantly all those souls who went to the trouble of responding to ALW's appeal.

After such a staggeringly dire start, this show can only get better... can't it?

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Sir Terry Wogan - A Tribute

2008-12-07T17:46:00.008Z

Well, after months of speculation an era really is over. Sir Terry Wogan has finally called it a day on Eurovision. He knew well enough the way the contest was going and was brave enough to say what millions felt after the latest manifestation in 2008. It's a shame that some of the reaction to Terry's departure has exhibited the same "head in the sand" attitude that pretends that nothing is wrong with the recent years voting (and of course, Belgium and Netherlands always give their top marks to Armenia and Turkey because they always have the best songs!).

There has always been a faction of Eurovision fans (I mean here, year round fans, and I include myself here, who watch old contests and obsess over the latest Albanian quarter-final heat) who have been permanently anti-Wogan, because he had the temerity to poke fun at the contest. These people, undeniably earnest, miss the point. I am passionate about stuff like the dodgy voting but if you can't at the same time embrace the absurd side of the contest then you're missing out on so much, and Terry was the catalyst for the huge audience that the BBC pulls in on a Saturday night in May, regardless of the UK result.

Terry's first contest was, appropriately enough, in his native Ireland in 1971, due to Dana's victory the year before (that's right-wing Catholic colleen Dana, not the Israeli transexual). As he has rightly recalled, the venue, Dublin's Gaiety Theatre was so tiny that the presenter (and there was only one, which Terry has this time forgotten), had to do her stuff from the balcony. It was also memorable in that the stage backdrop resembled three enormous unfurled condoms.

As the seventies went on Terry became the face and voice of Eurovision in the UK after a period when the commentating gig was spread around - anyone remember Tom Fleming (royal weddings), David Vine (A Question Of Sport), Michael Aspel (Miss World etc)?. Well Terry saw them all off, probably down to his sensational radio success and the fact he was just so damn charming and amusing. Some Woganisms came up every year and you just waited for the moment: "a whiff of the souk", "heavens to murgatroyd" and as the doomed UK entrant took to the stage "let's cheer him/her/them on in word and deed" were just a few of them.

Terry was never one for factual accuracy, even in his valedictory interview he claimed there were two hosts in 1971 (there was only one) and fifteen countries (there were seventeen). A couple of days later his recollections about the Swedish presenter's dress falling off and of the Portuguese entry that sparked a revolution are both incorrect (wrong hair colour and wrong year respectively!).

But let's forgive him that, even Abba's Benny thought Abba got "twelves" in 1974 when that voting system only came in a year later (the highest mark Abba got was five). One habit that went a bit too far even for those of us who defended him was the tendency in later years to talk over the intro of songs and even now and again (at some dramatic moment) in the middle of them. It was like "OK Terry you have your fun before and after, but this bit is sacred".

Despite these transgressions, Sir Terry Wogan will forever occupy a mammoth place in the history of Eurovision, and not just in the UK. In 2001 he so upset the Danish organizers by his comments about the hosts (whom he christened "Doctor Death and the Tooth Fairy") that Danish Television made an official complaint. And of course in 1998 in Birmingham he wasn't just BBC commentator but also co-host of the contest and spent the evening juggling both roles alongside running back and to between stage and commentary box. What a guy!.

Sir Terry Wogan, thank you for all the pleasure you have given to millions over four decades of your presence on that night in May. You will be missed.

Here's Terry's multi-tasking in 1998:

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Junior Eurovision Ignored By Western Europe

2008-11-23T18:54:00.003Z

Last night saw the 2008 "Junior Eurovision Song Contest". This site and most of the Eurovision fan community have never embraced the event as it always seemed

(a) too cute
(b) a cheap off-season cash-in
(c) rather too near the Minipops for comfort

However for the first few years it did garner a bit of interest due to the novelty factor. By 2008 it has unfortunately got completely embraced by the televoting disrepute that's making the whole Eurovision franchise stink like a dead kipper. So much so that just two Western European countries even bothered to enter, and you guessed, it was those two faithful puppies Belgium and the Netherlands, who would propably turn up at the opening of an envelope. And to no-ones surprise, except the Benelux self-delusion experts, they finished near the foot of the scoreboard.

The mass boycott of Junior Eurovision hopefully might have an impact on the European Broadcasting Union. We can but hope.

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Think That Renault Ad Sounds Familiar?

2008-11-21T23:21:00.005Z

Well well, the hippest song of Belgrade 2008, "Divine" by Sebastien Tellier, has been given a well deserved new lease of life that may see it ascending the singles charts of Europe six months after the contest. The entry, like virtually all recent songs from the "big four" (France, Germany, Spain and the UK) ended near the foot of the scoreboard, either because Europe resents those countries direct entry into the final, or, more likely, because they haven't got huge swathes of economic migrants voting for the fatherland.

Anyway, France and Sebastien are having the last laugh as "Divine" is now being used in a pan-European ad campaign by French car giants Renault. And in many of those countries downloads are king regardless of any physical release, and many an ad tune has been vaulted into charts, so let's see what happens.

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Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber really is involved for the UK in 2009!

2008-10-22T18:36:00.001+01:00

After a few weeks of rumours (that we take with a pinch of Morissey salt here at Nul Points) it has indeed been confirmed that Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber will be part of the selection for the UK entry for next years contest in Moscow. Click here for the somewhat startling video. The tentative plans are for a short weekly Saturday night selection process along the lines or recent BBC casting shows. It has already been confirmed that Graham Norton will be hosting.

While on the face of it this is a great development, it does also inspire dread in every British Eurofan as given the dynamics already in place, it seems inevitable that the show will be blessed yet again by the Grim Reaper of the UK's Eurovision chances, John Barrowman. This is the supposed "fan" whose hysterical behaviour the last two years included promoting Scooch against Cyndi in 2007 and his typically on-the-money proclamation last year that "ballads don't do well at Eurovision". Just like the 2007 and 2008 winners of course.

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Brace yourself already for more UK disappointment in Moscow.

The Eurovision Organizers Keep Their Heads Firmly In The Sand

2008-06-04T21:51:00.002+01:00

After a week and a half of outrage over the 2008 voting, a minion from the organizers, the European Broadcasting Union has made an announcement on the official website, and what a hilarious read it is.... read the whole thing here:

Some gems:

"A certain amount of neighbour voting between the Nordic countries, and between former Yugoslavian countries took place at this year's Eurovision Song Contest. Statistics however show that did not bring Russia its first ever victory."

this is intimating that the Nordic countries and former Yugoslavia are the problem, completely (wilfully?) ignoring the former Soviet Union.

"If we imagine - even more absurd - that only the pre-enlargement EU old Western countries could vote, the winner would have been Armenia - not a Western country. Voting for your neighbour was not, and has never been the reason a song wins"

again complete duplicity on two scores:

we are led to believe that Western Europe's favourite song was Armenia when the countries that gave top marks to Armenia this year were exactly the same as last year, and the the year before, ie. the countries with huge Armenian immigrant communities and the countries where Armenian TV spent a fortune on distributing SIM cards to buy votes for the homeland. Serbia and Turkey also gain enormous votes from Western Europe each year for the exact same reasons, and any cursory glance at the stats will show it's always the same countries.

while the opening paragraph of this pathetic piece states proudly that "a Polish viewer living in Ireland can vote for Poland" the concept of ex-patriot voting is mysteriously absent in the rest of the article and breathtakingly so from the conclusion.

Now either these people are being utterly disingenuous about ex-pat (diaspora) voting, well,like you I think that's highly unlikely, or they deliberately posted this pathetic article to try and justify the unjustifiable. They know damn well that the sacred six of Russia, Ukraine, Armenia, Serbia, Turkey and Greece have an unfair head start every year and now they are in the pay of Russia and counting the roubles I guess they really can't afford to care.

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The Joy Of Six (Or Maybe Seven)

2008-05-27T00:04:00.003+01:00

Well the dust is starting to settle somewhat after last Saturday, yet more hand wringing in the UK. Yes, the song was mediocre, and Yes, a better song might have raised the UK up to the dizzying heights of 15th.... but let's make this bit clear...

THE BEST SONGS IN THE WORLD WON'T WIN EUROVISION FOR THE UK OR ANY OTHER WESTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRY.

The Finns in 2006 with Lordi had a massive publicity campaign (hell they were even on the front page of the New York Times) that has sadly obscured the ongoing problem.. without such a media miracle the Eurovision is unwinnable for all but six countries.

Russia, Ukraine. Serbia, Turkey, Armenia and Greece.

Every year under the current system they have a top ten finish guaranteed even if they sent a cat farting for three minutes. On their debut Azerbaijan look set to join that club too. Norway only managed to spoil the party this year in a very minor way because of being drawn last.

Most of the other countries TV stations probably got decent viewing figures so they will no doubt again in 2009 go to vast expense to choose a song that has absolutely no chance of winning. How many more years will it take?.

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Back To Square One

2008-05-25T17:09:00.003+01:00

Oh the elation on Thursday night, after the second semi, when the songs appeared to have qualified on merit after some clever seeding by the organizers. How rapidly that vanished on the final night, as perhaps in all honesty, we knew it would, but hoped for a miracle. That never happened. Take a look at the scoreboard.

1 Russia 272
2 Ukraine 230
3 Greece 218
4 Armenia 199
5 Norway 182
6 Serbia 160
7 Turkey 138
8 Azerbaijan 132
9 Israel 124
10 Bosnia 110
11 Georgia 83
12 Latvia 83
13 Portugal 69
14 Iceland 64
15 Denmark 60
16 Spain 55
17 Albania 55
18 Sweden 47
19 France 47
20 Romania 45
21 Croatia 44
22 Finland 35
23 Germany 14
24 Poland 14
25 UK 14

A few observations: unless you have a Lordi style media campaign you have to come from one of half-a-dozen countries to have a chance of winning. If you're from any of the ex-Soviet union you have at least sixty guaranteed points to start with. The draw for running order still plays a disproportionate role in the result: the songs populating the foot of the scoreboard were almost all from the first ones sung. Hence Armenia is lower than we'd expect and Norway a helluva lot higher. And the big four of France, Spain, Germany and the UK are seemingly permanently doomed to finish near the bottom whatever they send (and who in their right mind would want to sing for them these days?).

After all this some countries are considering their position but the organizers at the EBU are counting the phone money and nothing's going to change. You can't help feeling Eurovision is now well on the way to a slow agonizing death.

Head On The Block - Final Prediction

2008-05-24T15:41:00.002+01:00

Well time to put up and shut up with just a few hours to go... the essential thing to remember is that while the semi-finals were seeded, the final voting hasn't changed, all 43 countries can vote including eliminated countries, so inevitably ex-pat and neighbour voting will again be rife. So Nul Points Net's final prediction is as follows:

1 Serbia
2 Russia
3 Ukraine
4 Greece
5 Finland
6 Turkey
7 Azerbaijan
8 Armenia
9 Georgia
10 Denmark
11 Norway
12 Bosnia Herzegovina
13 Sweden
14 Spain
15 Portugal
16 Croatia
17 Latvia
18 Iceland
19 Romania
20 Israel
21 France
22 Poland
23 Albania
24 United Kingdom
25 Germany

......... but most of all here's to a great contest and some exciting voting!

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A Classic Eurovision Moment From 2008 Already!

2008-05-23T20:39:00.003+01:00

To start the voting in the first semi-final, they brought on world #3 tennis player, Novak Djokovic. For the second semi they brought on the redoubtable Lys Assia, the very first winner of Eurovision in 1956... the end result was priceless.

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Wow! Semi Two delivers the goods and restores your faith

2008-05-22T22:30:00.002+01:00

How fan-dabi-dozey!..... the peeps at the European Broadcasting Union changed the rules for this years semis after an onslaught of Eastern bloc voting friendliness last year that saw all final qualifiers from the East... for 2008 they decided on two semi-finals with countries strategically separated to try and avoid the worst excesses of neighbour/ex-pat voting... and by lordi it seems to have worked!. The second semi tonight has confirmed that every single Nordic country from Iceland to Finland via Norway, Sweden and Denmark have qualified for Saturday's final while the likes of Belarus and Macedonia (who would have been guaranteed a place a year ago) bite the dust. What a result!.

The ex-pat powerhouses of Russia, Ukraine, Serbia and Armenia may well still triumph on Saturday but tonight is a night to savour.

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Semi 2 - It's Getting Serious

2008-05-21T20:25:00.002+01:00

So after all those rehearsals the first semi-final has taken place and the party comes to an abrupt end for nine countries. Reality kicks in for the Netherlands and Belgium, missing out on the final for the fourth straight year, and Estonia and Andorra for the fifth (the Pyrreneans have still to officially debut at a contest final). The gimmicks from Ireland and Estonia fell by the wayside and Nul Points Net hot favourite Belgium were doomed by a breathless performance and dodgy staging as the charm of the national final evaporated. It's a shame that these three weren't in the mix on Saturday if only to hear Wogan's comments.

We also last night saw the ten qualifiers placed into the final draw, and to no-one's surprise Russia drew a plum slot, second-last, just like in the semi. The draw was carried out at a press conference (see the video below) and several of those present report that it was anything but transparent. The efforts of the organizers and the Serbian hosts to influence Russian success are really getting beyond a joke now. We know they're close allies but this, on top of the props fiasco, is plain ridiculous.

Anyway, on to semi-final two, which is widely thought to have the stronger songs. This is the semi in which the UK can vote. At this point in proceedings the Nul Points prediction is for these to qualify: Sweden, Turkey, Ukraine, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Georgia, Malta, FYR Macedonia, Portugal

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Semi 1 - Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Eurovision!

2008-05-19T22:00:00.007+01:00

Semi-final one of Eurovision 2008 is upon us and we can barely hear it for the howls of derision about how weak and inferior it is to semi-final two. In terms of consistent song quality it surely is, but when on earth has that been what Eurovision's about?. The first semi has a whole heap of intrigue and interest:

The return of Dana International in the songwriter's (no-doubt feather-enhanced)chair.
A ridiculous gimmick from Estonia that you either hate or..... hate.
Plucky little San Marino's debut totally without compromise.
Belgiums uber-barmy tribute to the Singing Nun which Nul Points just adores.
Azerbaijan's debut Faux-hemian Rhapsody which Nul Points mostly doesn't adore.
Poland's sultry totty trying to tip them into a final at long last.
Dustin the Turkey telling it like it is and rising above the hissy fan boos.
Andorra going for fifth time lucky resurrecting the ghost of Steps.
Armenia and the Netherlands showing us the joys of Eurovision televoting 2008 style.
Finland trying to do metal without make-up.
The scary "Victory For Russia" campaign which the Serb hosts seem happy to support.
Greece showing us the benefits of recycling for the whole planet.

All in all, an absolute delight..... makes the second semi so drab by comparison.

Head on the block time.... Nul Points predictions for qualifiers..... in order...

Israel,Belgium,Azerbaijan,Poland,Ireland,Bosnia,Armenia,Romania,Russia,Greece....

EDIT---> well that was 8/10. Sorry for Belgium which was way too breathless, Ireland was a mess live and also broke the "six persons on a stage rule". Happy for Norway, and somewhat perplexed at Finland, but well done!

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A week of rehearsals and the show's about to begin

2008-05-18T18:26:00.002+01:00

This site has never been a fan of the semi-final process but there is something guiltily pleasant in having a Eurovision Week instead of just a night as the two semis this year mean shows on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Rehearsals started a full week ago and websites official and unofficial have been reporting on them ad nauseam. What we can say is that yet again the presentations will be a sea of over-choreography, fireworks and multicoloured moving backdrops. The latter seem to have become compulsory nowadays even to the point where they spell out the lyric just in case you didn't hear the singers (which seems like something of a cheat).

Talking of general unfairness, there are still some unsavoury aspects of the production (that's apart from the unexpected revival of several pairs of leather trousers on a Eurovision stage): The composer of the home Serbian entry is co-host of the contest and will somehow (in an astonishing display of naivety by the European Broadcasting Union) be expected to be impartial as the votes are (or aren't) flowing in. Also the decision to hold the draw for the qualified finalists off-camera makes no sense at all and smacks of potential fixing, especially given other events in rehearsal week.

After dress rehearsals the organizers have actually moved a commercial break solely in order to pacify the Russian delegation. The Russian entry has ridiculous props including a mini-ice rink and a ladder and these were just too much to clear the stage before the next song, but after a hissy-fit from the Ruskies the ad-break is now after their song leaving Greece isolated by itself at the end of the line-up.

Despite these drawbacks, which now seem done and dusted, time to sit back and enjoy our week of the year. Whichever song you're supporting, here's to a fantastic Belgrade 2008!

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Draw Controversy In Belgrade

2008-05-13T22:11:00.002+01:00

The running order for Eurovision has always been a factor in determining success at Eurovision, especially in the televoting era when voters may not have been watching since song one, but Eurovision has often been reticent about making the draw procedure as open and above-board as possible. Quite often the draw has consisted of a number of balls being opened without much discernable shuffling. In the last few years, slots for the semi-finalists have been left open at the original draw then when the envelopes have been opened at the end of the semi (again after not a great deal of shuffling) the announced qualifiers have slotted into the draw in order of the remaining spaces.

In 2008 eighty percent of the finalists are having to qualify, and after the ten announcements over two semi-final nights their position in the contest final is being drawn off-camera after the second-semi. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to draw a position for each qualifier at the time they were announced, but that of course is far too transparent for Eurovision.

The two worst draws left in the final are 1st and 3rd and you can almost bet your life that the Russian song (that is practically being groomed for victory this year) won't be in those slots, but it would be nice to think that in a transparent draw that could just happen. Now it would be truly amazing if it were to.

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Sir Cliff Robbed? Franc-ly Unlikely

2008-05-06T22:20:00.004+01:00

The build-up to this years contest has already been enhanced with it's fair amount of media coverage, courtesy of Ireland's subversive turkey twizzler Dustin and France's groovy entry sung in English. Today we got an unexpected extra shot of publicity with the revelation in a Spanish TV documentary that Spain's General Franco "bought" the 1968 contest by bribing other countries to ensure victory for Spain. This was apparently achieved by travelling the continent and buying overseas TV shows in return for guaranteed votes for Espana.

This whole idea seems somewhat silly on closer examination. In 1968 the voting consisted of each country having ten jurors couped up in a TV studio. And if the result WAS rigged it was done extremely subtlely and virtually the whole continent's juries must have been in on the fix. After the French entry spurted into an early lead it's votes dried up and it was overtaken by the UK. With two juries to go the German jury gave six it's ten to Spain and a 23-28 deficit became 29-28. At the time this was blamed in the UK on residual resentment either post 1966 World Cup or even the Second World War. What is known is that Spanish singer Massiel performed her song on a popular German TV show just before the event. The conspiracy theories are great fun but just don't hold water. Here's a Spanish clip of the climax of the contest:

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British Eurofans Score A Huge Own Goal

2008-04-27T18:36:00.002+01:00

On Friday night about 1200 mainly British fans turned up at a preview party at Londons Scala venue where several of the 2008 entrants performed. By all accounts it was a terrific success. As well as the entrants who performed, Dustin the turkey was interviewed by host Paddy O'Connell and, not surprisingly, was booed. We all know that Dustins timely attack on the current state of the contest has divided opinion, to say the very least. But UK performer Andy Abraham came on, and he also was apparently widely booed. Why? something he said? some devious cheating that won him the UK final? .......... Well no, these are British Eurovision fans booing their own representative because they don't like his song. Well done guys (and they were almost exclusively guys to be sure). These are the people who probably think Nicki French should represent us every year.

The BBC's support for the contest is on the table as rumours grow of Sir Terry's defection to ITV (or just plain retirement) and without Wogan the Eurovision's place on a BBC1 saturday night schedule is highly dubious. Andy Abraham is a classy singer and a lovely guy who deserves much better than boos from a bunch of hissy queens who may well wake up one morning and find there are no more British Eurovision parties, in part because of them.

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French Outrage Is Misplaced

2008-04-16T19:56:00.005+01:00

Well, well, another Eurovision season and the language thing rears it's head again. A French politician has protested about their 2008 entry containing mostly English lyrics. Newsflash! in both 2001 and 2007 their song contained a section in English, and even in 1986 and no free languages their entry contained lyrics like "Boy George et Lady Dee" (sic). It's a quarter of a century since the French first withdrew from the contest calling it a "monument to drivel" and obviously some of our Gallic friends still take it far too seriously.

They would have been far better to have to criticized French television in the last few years when their entries have once or twice been shamefully bad, two years ago the song even hjad to be replaced (to no great effect) at the last minute, it was so mediocre. 2008 sees France leading the way with the hippest entry in the contest, "Divine" performed by the popular electro artist Sebastien Tellier, taken from his critically acclaimed "Sexuality" album. It's no classic Eurovision song so is unlikely to trouble the top end of the scoreboard in Belgrade, but it's a handsome effort that will grace the Euro stage on May 24th.

Whats Up With The Big Four?

2008-04-07T23:00:00.006+01:00

So another Eurovision season is upon us, and yet again the so-called big four are tipped to populate the bottom of the scoreboard. Is this just lazy fan prediction based on the past few years with no regard to this years songs? And have the big four fared badly because their songs are only heard once, because viewers actively resent their need to qualify and so boycott them, because they have no diaspora, or are their songs just crap?....

For the casual visitor I should point out that the big four are the countries who never have to qualify for the contest, however bad their results, that being France, Spain, Germany and the UK (well all of them had to qualify in 1996, and Germany didn't, which caused one hell of a stink). Each years Eurovision is funded mainly by the European Broadcasting Union, and the biggest national contributions come from the said four countries. Each year since 1997 they've received a free pass into the contest final regardless of the previous years results. Since the semi final system was instituted in 2004 their results make stark reading:

France: 15th, 23rd, 22nd, 22nd
Germany: 8th, 24th, 15th, 19th
Spain: 10th, 21st, 21st, 20th
UK: 16th, 22nd, 19th, 23rd

Now it could be argued that their songs fail badly because they're heard only once and evidence from the four years of the semis suggests indeed that the songs performed in the semi do have an advantage in the final because a lot of the voters will have heard them twice and had more opportunity to be enthused to vote for them. However it has equally been shown that some direct finalist songs do a hell of a lot better than the big four, if the song is strong enough.

One theory that has some currency on internet forums is that because they are always direct qualifiers, some viewers automatically don't vote for them!. Whilst this may be the case for some embittered fans, I find it hard to believe that Joe/Jose/Josef Public out there thinks this way.

A far more likely contributory factor in this day and age is that they have no army of ex-pats to blindly vote for them. That isn't of course what's keeping them from winning, but keeping them from the middle table finish and the veneer of respectability. Ever year the Macedonias and Armenias (never mind the Serbias and Russias) have a guaranteed bedrock of dozens of points from their ex-pats. The big four don't have that, because basically, their people are generally happy with their lot and don't leave the homeland to search out a better standard of living (at the end of the day if it's "A Nice Lifestyle" vs "Success At Eurovision" I guess even the most passionate fan knows which they'd plump for!).

So finally we come to the notion that the big four are falling flat on their arses because, well. they're not motivated to send anything decent by always being in the final, and so their songs just aren't any good. I think this allegation merits closer consideration by looking at those last four years again (and 2008) :

France stubbornly kept singing in French, which is fair enough after some success in the early 2000s, however their standard in 2005 and 2006 was very low. The last two years have seen two outstanding efforts that are probably too quirky for mass votes, but top marks for creativity. Their 2008 entry by Sebastien Tellier is state of the art electronic dance and available in your local HMV on his latest album.

Germany are probably unfairly up for scrutiny here. Apart from their 2005 debacle, they have sent quality songs these last few years that haven't been afraid to be different. Their 2006 entry by Texas Lightning did however produce a startling result after being a huge pre-contest favourite. In 2008 they have a cracking contemporary Sugababes type song that may do very well indeed.

Spain, like France, did well at the start of the millennium, and have stayed true to a recognizable style, but it hasn't washed with the voters across Europe. In 2008 they're going for a rather lame gimmick song that is highly rated on the internet, for no obvious reason.

Lastly the UK. After Jemini's debacle the revamped "Making Your Mind Up" has produced decent viewing figures and domestic hit singles but barely any improvement on the Eurovision scoreboard. In 2005 Javine sank without trace after a dozen entries turned up in the same style, Daz Sampson was highly innovative a year later but stymied by the live vocal rule and Scooch... well... In 2008 Andy Abraham has a funky number that's just lacking a great hook.

So... the big four. Probably destined for another disappointing year. But is it deserved?

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Serbia find a way to bend the rules (again)

2008-03-05T21:56:00.003Z

In it's first attempt at Eurovision all by itself Serbia took home the crown, largely due to a vast army of ex-pats across middle Europe who were brazenly encouraged to vote multiple times for their homeland. As the current voting system stands Serbia is right up there with Russia, Turkey and a couple more countries as the automatic recipient of well over fifty points without singing a note, and in the mediocre 2007 contest that was, shockingly, enough to snatch victory. 2008 will see the contest held in Belgrade and it seems that the Serbs are still as hell-bent on claiming as many points as possible by any means. They have announced the presenters of the May contest, and the male host is none other than Zeljko Joksimovic, who was runner-up in the 2004 contest for Serbia -Montenegro. So far so good, as several former singers have presented the contest, but Zeljko is also the composer of the hot favourite to win Serbia's final next week and represent the home country. That means of course that he may well be announcing points for his very own song. At the very least the international commentators will surely mention his involvement during the contest, giving his potential entry a unique boost. Just when you thought the Euro playing field couldn't get any more slanted......

Eurovision - Whose Decision?

2008-03-02T22:11:00.003Z

Despite the BBC's best efforts, 2005 X-Factor runner-up Andy Abraham has been selected to sing for the United Kingdom in the 2008 contest in Belgrade. For some reason the shows title was changed: Making Your Mind Up was no more, now it was "Eurovision: Your Decision", although as events unfolded it was palpably less "our" decision than ever. The six songs were presented in pairs and it was left to a panel to select three for the super final. The panel consisted of casting show staple Carrie Grant (who sang for the UK twenty five LONG years ago) and John "Torchwood" Barrowman, still fondly remembered (not) for his support for Scooch last year. To the chagrin of some fans in the studio Barrowman proceeded to dismiss LoveShy's song as "a good pop song but not a Eurovision song" and then dissed Rob McVeigh as "ballads don't work at Eurovision" - and this is a self-proclaimed expert(!). He probably thinks Nicki French won the contest. Carrie Grant seemed strangely subdued and went along with Barrowman on every decision.

While Andy Abraham was also dismissed versus Michelle Gayle, ie. for not being "Eurovision enough", thankfully help was at hand. In an even further extension of democracy Sir Terry Wogan was able to bring one act back, and he plumped for Andy. Then thankfully it was down to the British public and Andy completed the perfect comeback by pipping Michelle Gayle for the win. Looking back however it is still quite feasible that LoveShy and/or Rob McVeigh could have won the public vote, but we weren't given the chance. Not in any publicity nor in the show were we given any explanation for this. Just why six songs couldn't have been put to the public vote.... and of course why two acts were eliminated partly thanks to a man who doesn't know his Euro arse from his Euro elbow.

Andy Abraham was head and shoulders the finest performer of the evening and good luck to him in Belgrade!

That Semi Seeding - Why Did They Bother?

2008-01-27T17:31:00.000Z

The European Broadcasting Union will make the draw for the 2008 semi-finals next week. It was previously reported that an effort would be made to keep apart countries where one has religiously voted for the other in recent years, in an attempt to limit the effects of the neighbour/ex-pat voting that has so blighted the contest these last few years. However it seems that they have lost their nerve and caved in to vested interests, as all they have done is draw countries into six "pots" where half of each pot will go in one semi and half in the other.

It does split the ex-Yugoslav republics and a lot of the ex-Soviet ones, but there is still a fair chance that Armenia and Turkey will be drawn with most of their ex-pat countries and even Greece and Cyprus drawn together. There's a chance that Ireland will be drawn separately from Lithuania and Latvia, but also a chance that they'll all be drawn together. Israel (whose only friendly vote comes from France, who don't need to compete in the semi) has been plonked into a group of ex-Soviet republics while debutant Azerbaijan has been placed in a miscellaneous pot, presumably as the EBU have no voting data and have assumed that the good Azeris won't vote like the other republic lol!.

If the EBU were serious about acting on diaspora voting they would have placed countries apart before the semi draw. As things stand they might as well have just done a random draw. And, as previously noted all countries will still vote in the final so the stench of the expats and neighbours will again taint the big night in May. All window-dressing and no action from the organizers. Why did they bother?

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Eurovision and Christmas it's true!

2007-12-25T22:22:00.000Z

Seasons greetings to all of you who are celebrating at this time. Now Eurovision has often been called "the gay Christmas" and quite apart from anyones sexual preferences it's quite obvious that the two events bear some spooky similarities for contest fans. As Loyd Grossman would say, lets look at the evidence:

The gradual selection process, country by country = preparing for Christmas buying pressies for everyone and stocking up on food and booze. In both cases it goes on for months. "They've got Christmas lights up in September" is the equivalent to Albania choosing it's song in December.

The interminable rehearsals, compounded by the advent (!) of semi-finals = hanging decorations and cards up and getting everything just right for the big day.

Anticipation.... we hope for good luck for our home country and that favourite song but worry that they might just both bomb = Hoping for all we asked for but fearing that awful sweater from Aunty Emily.

The contest takes place = all that build-up and it's all over in a few hours.

We moan about the political voting afterwards = our presents were rubbish, the telly was full of repeats, it was always better in our day ;o).

Happy Christmas from Nul Points!

Two more nails in the coffin of telephone voting

2007-12-16T18:53:00.001Z

Keen students of Eurovision over the last few years have watched aghast as the effects of telephone voting have skewed the contest scoreboard more and more with each passing year. It all seemed such a great idea when it was introduced a decade ago...... ah, "democracy" , "power to the people", and all that. Right now it looks anything but democratic, and this week British television viewers have seen two prime examples of how it's all gone so wrong.

First of all dodgy soap actor Matt Di Angelo totally fluffs both dances on Strictly Come Dancing and is promptly rewarded by top place in the public vote, thus fast tracking him to the next round. Then to top it all by far the outstanding candidate on X Factor, Rhydian Roberts gets pipped by a caterwauling Scottish midget who wouldn't know a tune if he fell over it.

This is democracy...... or rather it isn't. The last time I checked that meant one person one vote. Not one person spending a small fortune voting over and over again for the same candidate. The TV companies, like the Eurovision organisers, lap it up as they rake in the cash from the calls. They end up with useless winners who clearly aren't the best, but what to they care. I suppose at least at ESC we should be happy we're spared the preening "expert panel", but on the other hand we DO have the likes of Armenia sending SIM cards to expats imploring them to vote for the homeland. Does televoting have any credibility left to lose?

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San Marino and the tinies

2007-11-25T22:08:00.000Z

Well well well, apparently it's gone beyond internet rumour that San Marino will participate in Eurovision 2008, as their national TV company has announced that they've applied to compete in Belgrade . In all honesty I originally put this down to another wish fulfillment thingie as there are hundreds of Eurovision fans out there just gagging for Italy to return to the contest and San Marino is seen by them as a stealthy way of getting RAI (thats the Italian BBC) to come back to the contest. But it seems to be genuine and so we may well be greeting Eurovision's smallest nation ever next May.

Let's put it in perspective: (figures from the BBC website)

EUROPES SMALLEST NATIONS (BY POPULATION)

ANDORRA 64000 - in Eurovision
LIECHTENSTEIN 34600 - not in Eurovision but tried one time (allegedly)
MONACO 32000 - not in now but won in 1971 and very very rich
SAN MARINO 27000 - apparently up for it in 2008
VATICAN STATE 900 - you cannot be serious!!!!!!

So I guess those figures suggest that San Marino has as much right to compete as old Euro veteran Monaco. Whilst representing Monaco was traditionally an option for those who weren't able to sing for France, it seems that representing San Marino will fill the same need for frustrated Italian singers. The rub being of course that Italy hasn't been part of Eurovision since 1997 due to a recalcitrant TV station, and many ESC fans are drooling at Italy making a de facto return to the contest under the banner of San Marino. It's all very very intriguing and let's say WATCH THIS SPACE!

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A Semi Solution

2007-11-24T23:06:00.000Z

Well, the European Broadcasting Union are taking steps to try and solve the problem of ex-pat voting. There will be two semi finals and all but Serbia, France, Germany, Spain and the UK will have to participate in one. Voting in each semi will be restricted to the countries involved, and the five countries just mentioned will be allocated to one semi where they'll have voting rights.

Now here's the rub: the semi-finals will be drawn on the basis of voting data from the last few years to attempt to reduce the effect of neighbour and diaspora voting. In practice this is likely to mean, for example that Greece and Cyprus are in separate semis, that the ex-Yugoslavian and ex-Soviet republics are split, and that countries like Turkey and Armenia are placed in a separate semi from the countries where large ex-pat populations have previously showered votes on them.

This should all mean that countries without a significant diaspora or neighbour vote will have a better chance of making the final than they have in recent years. Time will of course tell. Another innovation is that the top nine countries from each semi-final will qualify, whilst the tenth qualifier will come from the backup jury votes: is this the EBU acknowledging that 100% televoting isn't the perfect democratic solution after all?.

So we shall hopefully not see a repeat of the uproar after the 2007 semi-final when all the final places went to Eastern Europe. But come the grand final absolutely nothing, apparently, is changing. All countries. probably forty plus, will vote (interminably), by televoting, and the likes of Serbia, Turkey, Russia and Armenia (assuming the latter three have qualified) will benefit once more from the full warmth of the friendly vote.

So, other than the fact that some of the main beneficiaries won't make the final, nothing has really changed. At least we know that Serbia will be in the final and will once more pick up their seventy or eighty "free" votes. But hey, they are hosting the thing.

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The Nul Points Blog Starts Here!

2007-11-17T18:08:00.000Z

Thanks to everyone who has supported the site. It's always been rather rooted in the past rather than present, so here is one effort to engage debate on Eurovision present and future. I hope you join in!